Note 2: On my Twitter, I asked for personal advice on what to do regarding hitting $3 million. You see the whole chat thread on Twitter. There’s a lot of great advice from the brilliant people in the finance community. I was expecting troll replies or people calling me cop out for not FIRE-ing even though hubby and I both are not fully ready for all reasons besides money. But what came was a good consensus of all the concerns and “what-ifs” we had, which made me feel less crazy for thinking we’re not ready.

Note 3: We’re kicking up our fat/FIRE goal to $5 million for now. Our original goal was $3 million (liquid) but with insane inflation, we don’t feel right to retire in our early 30s. We’re also planning to have more kids someday (woo~), so we need to up that number. We also forgot to include AGING parents in that original FIRE goal. Lastly, we decided to stay in our HCOL area. We really LOVE living in the Pacific Northwest and it’s well worth grinding it out here than move anywhere else cheaper.

Note 4: I wish we had a 7 figure business or have super high sports stars salaries, but nope! We’re just the neighbor’s next door. And I find our wealth journey is more of a testament to the good old way of wealth building all of which was mentioned in, you guessed it my favorite PF book, The Millionaire’s Next Door.

OK now let’s start!

~

Are you curious about fatFIRE? I’ve always wondered how wealth builds over time. We’re creatures of pattern so we naturally look for benchmarks. Anything to keep on track of a dream FIRE lifestyle. That’s why I wanted to share this post with some half-baked lessons sprinkled in.

First of all, I’m pretty darn sure we’re not the only ones who have recently hit the 3rd million now. I know there are other 30-somethings-year-olds out there in the FIRE community with lots more $$$ now. I mean it has been a few years, and I know at least a few readers who had similar (if not better!) savings, earnings, and investments than us.

Secondly, I didn’t want to share this milestone initially because it seemed a little inappropriate, given we’re still in a pandemic. But damn this 3rd million came and left already, and we’re still struggling with the same health pandemic a year later. So what the hell, new normal.

The pandemic was one main reason why I completely skipped over the $2 million net worth update/milestone on this blog. Although our 2nd million was special too I didn’t feel like I was allowed to talk about it when a health pandemic started. Plus we had our hands full with a newborn, and newborns amidst a global pandemic definitely didn’t come with instructions.

And the last thing I wanted to clarify: nothing major happened to change wealth or accumulation.

No rich uncle died. We didn’t take up any crazy investment strategy. We didn’t get an income boost. I freaking wish!! We’re losers.

In fact, new baby coming, I naturally had to give up my Airbnb side hustle. Plus only 1 of my web businesses had the scalable success I originally hoped for.

For another 9 months, I took 100% time off to soak in pregnant-happy, stress-free self-care. I had a stellar, normal pregnancy. Yes some morning sickness, swollen feet, very mild stretch marks but otherwise, everything went awesomely. I encourage all the hard-working ladies to take a break, and have a posh, spoil me babe pregnancy! Do it for your baby and body at least!

After my glorious pregnancy and awesomeeee birth/labor experience, the shit show started. Newborns are little shits. I didn’t like her for the first 3 months. I took 6 months off unplanned. Our daughter had colic and she was classified as failure to thrive (underweight). We had to call up every specialist and order doctor scans to figure out if it’s something or not. Is it just her genetics or does she have some rare disease where she can’t eat or gain weight? Nothing ever came from the tests, scans, or blood draws. Soooo I mean my husband’s skinny even though I’ve seen him eat 4 lbs of ice cream in one sitting……..(Lol, it was a contest for a free t-shirt.)

Anyways, I did little work for over a year thanks to pregnancy and baby. My husband definitely ramped down on his work output too. He’s putting in just a bit above 30 hour weeks. So trust me, income DID NOT explain the 3rd million.

This points to the first observable that’s glaringly obvious:

Want to master your finances effortlessly?

1. Sign up with your email to download our free Google Sheet budget template.

2. Sign up with Personal Capital and use their automatic Net Worth Tracker for free. Personal Capital is a free financial service platform that helps you analyze your financial health all on one simple & secure account. This was a huge step up from the tedious dance we did before where we had to manually log in to our financial accounts (all 19 of them) individually.

1. The First Million *IS* the Hardest

After we became millionaires in 2018, I lost a good chunk of my interest in sharing our net worth publically. I mean, we already hit a big milestone, and it will be a while before we get to 2 million so why keep tracking it monthly? Isn’t it more to life? Of course, there is.

Due to our busy schedules and general desire to enjoy life rather than count the dough, we stopped paying close attention until one day…whoop, third mil. We know it’s “only” 3 million; plenty of rich people and families have 20 million, 200 million, so much more – especially in Silicon Valley! We’re not super smart or overly ambitious people so the stock market pulled most of the weight.

When they said the first million was the hardest, they were RIGHT. Here’s the broad overview of our money timeline so far:

• June 2010: $0
• Nov 2018: $1,000,000
• Feb 2020: $2,000,000
• July 2021: $3,000,000

 Relevant Reads:

• What Is The Real Cost of Raising a Child (Done Frugally and On The Cheap)
• Got Kids? Check Out These Free Rainy Day Resources for Kids
• 11 Punchable Financial Crimes According to Me
• When Having Too Much Money is Bad (The Cons of Being Rich)
• How To Make a Roll of Paper Towels Last Embarrassingly Long

2. Earnings Matters…ish?

Income totally matters…for the first million.

Suddenly in a blink, 2 million, then another blink, 3rd million. Income is definitely not the driving force behind this. It helped, but nah, no way, it’s only been less than 4 years!!!!!!

Your salary is going to be the main driving force for that first million…and you know…not having kids or blowing your money on a new boat. Our daughter was a hard second job. Ugh! It wasn’t just money spent on her but the cost of the time (time is money) put into having and raising a baby.

For women thinking of mommyhood someday: save the money first, then have as many kids as you want! Easier that way and you get the best of both worlds. That’s our plan haha.

It’s pretty unfair the responsibility falls harder on women but just how it is. Hedge your bets with an awesome husband, like mine. He’s doing I say 60% of the childcare duties as I’m studying part-time. That’s just how he is, nothing to do with me, he’s a people pleaser/caretaker type.

We took a lot of time off in the past 2 years. ZERO regrets. We bonded like a family should and family ALWAYS comes first. If our income dropped, we didn’t notice any impact at all on the net worth or our “lifestyle.”

We still pay 100% of our taxes and max out those employer-match charity donations every year. P.S. donations come automatically out of pay, and we don’t take that money out of our monthly budget.

3. It’s Totally Outside of Our Control

We don’t have much cash sitting on hand anymore. Besides the house, all else is riding in a theoretical market. No safe, no valuables, no jewelry, no boat, NO physical assets. We drive a used car (market value not included in net worth.)

This net worth growth….just numbers on a screen….has nothing to do with us nor how wealthy or not we feel. 2020 was a dark time fiscally for tons of people. I think American populists have a strong point. There is something very off-balance about the system in this country and it will come to a head eventually.

Anyway, this net worth growth has nothing to do with us; it’s interesting to see the stark contrast though. My husband and I are NORMAL PEOPLE.

Unfortunately, we are not stock market (or even regular) geniuses, didn’t make crazy money, and I assure you, most of the wealth at this point is outside of our control. We just check every few months and go ok, cool, is monies + or -.

Then we go back to enjoying a boring, family life minus money anxiety.

4. Focusing on What We Can Know

Years ago, we would have been happy with $3 million. After we became parents we shifted our attention from money and work to our (FTT) baby.

$3 mil liquid, our original FIRE figure would have us driving off into the sunset and laying on a hammock in Waikiki forever, we assumed. Now with baby girl added to the pack, we realize how restrictive FIRE can be with very young children. I don’t know the plan right now. It’s not much to do with money, it’s the unknown.

If we couldn’t have kids…I want to go to Vegas and never wake up before 7 AM again! FIRE may not be for us as we’re not SINKs or DINKS. We are traditional on that front: we have dependents young and old. Going solo is not a privilege we have as a family. We will always aim for early retirement but probably not when we’re in our early and mid 30s.

Also, I very, very much want to make sure our baby will be covered for all of her life too. She will go to a top-quality school…she has a caring sweet father….full insurance…involved parents with tons of free time for her…an amazing neighborhood in a bustling vibrant and safe city………..um………..literally everything I didn’t have growing up. I’m a little jealous of her!

Think of it!!! loads of opportunity…summer camps, international travel, holidays, dance n’ art classes, STEM classes, private tutors, bedtime stories, hugs, an actual bed frame…I don’t know, just everything I didn’t have growing up. I’ll shut up now before I start weeping.

 Related Reads:

• Amazon vs Walmart vs Target Freebie Sample Box Review
• 9 Thrifty Hacks That Will Help You Save On Maternity Clothes

BaristaFI and regular FI won’t be enough in our expensive city, especially if we have more kids. Kicking the fatFIRE figure to $5 million is a good plan for now based on 33x expenses (check out this Retire Early Simulator).

We want to maintain 80% time at work (if we can get it permanently) but otherwise, nothing is changing. We don’t hate our jobs that much yet. Plus work is a large part of our social life, and health coverage ain’t a bad thing man.

Family Expenses / Annual Budget Review for 2020

Oh maybe someone would like to look at our annual spending for the hellish, dumpster fire of 2020. We became first-time parents amidst lockdown so I can attest at least $1,000 of that total number was straight-up pointless crap for our colicky baby.

Our 2020 family spending was higher than in 2019 for reasons I will explain below.

Eating out was surprisingly low, for us. We tried to support our local restaurants but because we had a sickly newborn, I forbade my husband and myself from leaving the house. We had our meals and groceries delivered (thank GOD for Imperfect Produce deliveries, seriously.)

Medical, um, well it’s high because I gave birth in a hospital lol. The bill was $4,000 and that’s with health insurance. We hit our copay and I think it’s 10% after that.

I loved my birth experience so it was 100% worth it.

My birth was not really impacted by Covid-19, I got lucky. Boy did I get lucky.

Our hospital was discussing implementing policies…so we probably missed pandemic hospital protocols by 1 week.

I think I would have cried if pandemic protocols happened to us. I wouldn’t want to choose between hubby and doula as they did in New York City. Pushing is already tiring, imagine pushing in a mask. Poor mommies =( what a crap situation.

For mothers who gave birth in actual covid-restrictions, sister, you are a roaring lion champion of a WOMAN holy crap!

P.S. I fucking loved my birth experience!!! AHHHHHHHH!! xD I want to give birth again!! Don’t want a newborn ever, but birthing again is a hell yes! Maybe I can be a surrogate haha! I am such a good pusher, especially for a first-time birth, let me tell you, my nurses were impressed ^_^

P.P.S DOULAS ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!! If you don’t get one for birth support, you are way too damn CHEAP

We also got a new roof – which was most of the $7,000 total for home maintenance in 2020. The new roof was finished in January 2020. Hopefully, with luck, this roof will last 30 years since we sprang for premium materials and frills.

Vacation….lmao, I think a lot of us got $0 for vacation in 2020.

WST = all utilities. M.I.T =mortgage and stuff.

In summary, I think without the new roof and hospital birth (totaling over $11,000) we did fairly similar to 2019 in terms of overall frugal living.

Our monthly average was $4,300-ish and total annual family spending was $51,000-ish for our family of 4 in 2020. This includes mortgage, water, sewage, internet, everything. (Actually, for the Internet we get a full refund from work, but yeah, still a pricey year.)

Little Lady Luck Likes Lily…

I wish me or my husband were more successful people, but we’re not Forbes 30 under 30 people. Just a regular couple you probably saw us checking out at Trader Joe’s today.

• We work(ed) hard; much less hard though.
• We try our best to plan for the future and practice good-enough money sense. NO kids are not a good financial decision lmao!! But we did it anyway.
• My husband had great influences and come from a very successful family. I didn’t; I come from trailer park trash man. So let’s call this a draw!
• We have a good bit of luck (but nothing remarkable as if we had $300 million dineros…)

We DO feel lucky though. Like the Universe really REALLLLLY sprinkled me in lucky charms….or just setting me up for a total Punk’d session. It makes up for my childhood is what I tell myself.

In terms of luck, well I don’t have hard evidence…does anyone?!…but I have very specific examples that **I personally find** odd:

1. Sold our rental property at a good time

I’ve talked about this before; selling our Airbnb rental/investment property. We nab $50k – $100k even after repairs and realtor’s cut. That was because we sold it at the second-highest peak month. The local housing market is only slightly higher now but it’s been almost 3 years since then so adjusted, we sold out at a really good time. Of course, we didn’t know it at the time, but thinking back now yes it was “lucky.”

2. Stopped Airbnb hosting a month before pandemic

Our last Airbnb rental closed before my daughter was due! We planned to close earlier because I was 8 months pregnant and chasing after guests but we had some super sweet recurrent guests who love our place and I didn’t want to say no to them.

We officially closed Airbnb in February. Right before the pandemic rocked everything in the U.S. we were able to avoid all of the negative Airbnb stuff. All of it. By 3 weeks.

Headlines like “hosts overleveraged”, “Airbnb host hardships”, “Hosts face 90% cancellations” etc.

Surreal.

I was missing doing Airbnb and then this happened and I was like…OK, OK Lily….you got out at a really good time because the next 2 years are going to suck for travel.

3. Took out $1 million before Covid-19

We took out almost 1 million dollars a week or two before Covid rocked markets. Actually, I remember it was more around $700,000 plus what we already had in cash. I was 9 months pregnant – maybe don’t listen to heavily pregnant women on investing- but it worked out OK.

I told hubby, I want this money sitting safe and out of the market when the baby comes. We also had already $250,000+ in the bank so we now had about $1 million total that was no longer actively invested.

Ballsy, don’t I know it.

OHHH right my other reason/argument to hubby was I wanted to start house hunting ASAP! I thought we could start house hunting 1-2 weeks after the baby comes…fuck I’m stupid. Market was heating up for spring again and I was like, hey, all cash, our baby needs a house!!!!

Didn’t work out that way, at all. I couldn’t even sit down for weeks. So much blood, so much breastmilk ugh @_@

Note 5: we didn’t touch our retirement if you’re wondering. We didn’t touch anything locked in that would cause a tax mess. My husband would never have allowed that no matter how pregnant I was!

I didn’t want my kid to be born and raised in poverty like I was. That’s the shred of logic behind my ‘whim.’

Having that money in absolute, withdrawable figures gave me peace when our kid arrives. It was money not forever going up and down in a very theoretical space.

It proved at the time of her arrival, I was on a better footing than my parents who failed to provide. The classic poor Chinese parent uses their kids as retirement plans when no child should exist to be their parent’s retirement plan. If you disagree with that, get out and don’t ever visit my blog!

My husband was understandably adamant about emptying out our 2 main brokerages on my crazy need to “prove something.” <- his exact words.

He thought I was loopy, which yes yes I am. All the blood from my brain went to my very pregnant feet LOL. But hey, you DON’T say no to your 9-month pregnant wife.

Was there a better way of doing this? Hell yes. In preparation for our first child’s birth, we decided to create a trust fund + will for her. But ugh, we got lazy putting paperwork and signing off.

So us being lazy (HIS fault!) was what got me arguing with hubby on this insane pull-out. Covid was not fully on our radar yet I do recall my husband was already home full-time. I think there was quite a lag between lockdown and the stock market?

“It’s SYMBOLIC honey!”

So out the money comes. I was scheduled to be induced a few days later. The pandemic statistics started getting scary. People were realizing it but nothing was being done yet. Our daughter came very early in the pandemic; avoiding the Covid-19 protocol rules and staff shortages to come. Thank goodness. Any later, it would have sucked.

Who wants the full almost-pandemic covid birth story? I think every mom wants to tell theirs haha…

End of Feb until about freaking May 2020….total blur. Shit show. Especially because our baby had colic and feeding problems. All family help was canceled due to Covid. No flights in, no food around, the house was a MESS. Also, I was going through some weird anxiety mood thing…not postpartum depression exactly…I think I was just tired as fuck.

I legit thought of running away to Mexico with the $950,000 when I left to walk the dog every morning LOL. Dooooon’t judge me.

We had this enormous amount of money taken out of the market and sitting in our money market while the stock market went down like 20%-30%? I am a bit embarrassed to admit we did try to time the market throwing money back in. That makes me a hypocrite yup I know. Whatever, I was out, mentally/emotionally/physically. I hate colic.

My husband took care of the actual nitty-gritty of investing it back into the now declined post-Covid market. I recall $700k went back in at a 10% dip in late March about 1 week after. The $250k in cash he dropped in slowly (timing it.) I think we caught close to the bottom of the market for $40,000 of that $250k. I did buy a couple of thousand worth of Delta airline stock myself, I still have them. Taxes were more interesting this year for my husband, oy.

We got lucky but I would not recommend us trying that again!

Recommended Reads:

• Top 14 Reasons Why Some People Don’t Save Money
• 13 Sensible Defining Characteristics Of Upper Middle Class People

Talk about ending the year with a bang. How would you like to spend 6 hours in the emergency room the day right after Christmas after you blew up in hives?

It’s one of the best things that have happened to me in 2018!

What Happened?

Ahh, let me rewind the story a bit.

I have mild eczema. Nothing too chronic or serious and only a few problem areas. My friends have eczema and I’m a very lightweight case when compared. I didn’t have it when I was a child, it only started up after college when I became an adult.

In fact, even after that, most doctors didn’t think it was a problem…until I started getting skin infections one after another. Then they told me to start getting serious with my daily moisturizer, stop scratching, etc.

Unfortunately, towards the end of 2018, I got sort of busy with life and work…more work.

Work = stress. Winter = dry skin. Stress + winter + eczema = me scratching subconsciously scratching harder and harder.

I remember I was working and looked down…I saw that my finger tips had pink/red on them. I had scratched myself open in a few spots on my leg.

Little needle spots of blood, nothing big, not even worth a trip to get band-aids.

I distinctly remember thinking, “oh, whatever I don’t have time for band-aids, I need to get this work submitted by 12 tonight so I’m behind.”

They were small pinpricks that should have taken 3 days at the most to heal…

3 weeks zip by, they were raging cases of skin infections/cellulitis on both of my legs.

I crawled out of denial and realized that my cockroach DNA has completely failed me this time.

I never had any serious health issues when I was a kid.

I got my first ever skin infection when I was 23! Why has my cockroach DNA forsaken me now?!!

My primary doctor was on her holiday vacation for 2-3 weeks, my husband and I had a Xmas holiday planned out and we were flying out in less than 1 week.

I couldn’t get a primary care doctor to see me on short notice.

I thought OK — Urgent Care center then — it’s just a skin infection.

I was given Clindamycin (an antibiotic) after lab results showed that I had both staph and strep infections on different wounds.

Both of these bacterias are fairly common and from what I’ve read, they exist on 30% of most surfaces.

But if you have a compromised immune system, they could do some gnarly stuff.

I took the medicine happily to California with me, expecting the miracle of antibiotics, to cure me soon.

But it didn’t.

4 days in, I started seeing a drug rash appearing on my chest. My infection didn’t look any better, in fact, it looked worst. Why isn’t it working?!

AHHH. I’m infectious to small children and the elderly!! IT’S CHRISTMAS SO I’M SURROUNDED BY THEM!

I’m OUT of state, no one has my records, places are closed/holiday hours, misc insurance stuff/questions??

I have cellulitis blowing up both of my legs…this is looking gnarlyyy…*Google images Cellulitis.*

I was worried about the infection getting into my bloodstream now…which will get very very serious (ie. death) — how the heck did I get here from just scratching my skin.

It’s not a good idea to stop taking your course of antibiotics as it leads to antibiotic resistance (which is a serious issue, because without antibiotics, we’re basically back to Caveman style medicine.)

I went back to another random Urgent Care place, was taken off Clindamycin, and put on Bactrim + Keflex.

Within 48 hours on Bactrim + Keflex…I started blowing up in hives ALL OVER MY BODY.

I couldn’t tell if it was Clinda related…or B+K…or just B…or just K…etc.

So now, I have cellulitis on both legs AND drug rashes / hives all over AND my face was swelling and going numb.

These 3 drugs kicked my ass lol. They made me lethargic and swollen. (Thankfully no diarrhea at least!)

When my lips/mouth started turning numb, it was 8PM at night, Urgent Care centers were closed…my husband got very worried and we called into a nurse hotline.

The nurse told us to visit the ER because I was having an allergic reaction to 1 or 2 or all 3 drugs.

With drug allergies…these things could get bad quickly, fairly fast.

If your lips are going numb, conditions are worsening, your throat might be the next to go…if your throat closes up…well yeah.

So off to the ER we go.

We were there for 6 hours and I was given pills to suppress my reaction while they monitored me.

The ER doctor (handsome as hell, good lord :)!) came over and said they will try doxycycline instead.

“You should consider changing your flight plans so you can be back in your state for proper care ASAP. I also suggest you see a disease specialist if these drugs are not working (ie. if it is an antibiotic resistant strain.)”

Drug rash is OK with me. It will go away in a month or 2 months. Chance of infected bloodstream – that was the concerning thing.

Thankfully the Doxycycline did the trick! My system accepted that a lot better, a lot faster. Within 48 hours, I was already 60% better.

We didn’t have to change flight plans since it started improving. We were all was elated, even though I looked like I got beaten up by a bee from the inside, it was a small price to pay.

We went to the store to get some Benadryl after being released from the ER. When I was on Benadryl…uh, Benadryl makes me super drowsy and depressed.

I cried for hours, days, ALL THE TIME when I was on Benadryl and became perky/happy/usual self when it wore off.

Our Christmas vacation was 11 days…I was only awake for like…2-3 days because the medicines I took made me so sleepy.

It’s officially been 12 days since my ER trip and my drug rashes are still here…although they’ve started to peel a little now, which is a good sign.

A drug reaction is basically like a very very bad, swollen sunburn.

Drugs…man…are no joke.

It’s been a nightmare, but my gosh, I am so so so thankful I had learned one of the biggest lessons in the School of Life.

What Was I Thinking About?

During the worst of the reaction, I thought I was going to be in big trouble…like dying. The boatloads of antibiotics aren’t working and my face was going blowing up/going numb.

But I have health insurance coverage. I have a family who loves me. I have someone who was willing to drive me to the ER.

Related: 16 Part-Time Jobs with Good Health Insurance and Benefits

If I stopped breathing at night, my husband would be right there to make sure my airways stay open.

I was in a warm home. We can afford treatment without worrying about the medical bills.

This is as good as it gets, and it still sucks!

That’s when I started balling my eyes out.

It was a different kind of sadness. It was a kind of sadness that I haven’t felt before.

Even though I was in a health poo-poo, I was still fortunate, so I cried for anyone and everyone who didn’t have the basics of what I think every human deserves.

I started crying for people who didn’t have health insurance or didn’t have someone who cared.

I knew a boy (Ocean Eyes) who went to the ER alone after badly cutting himself. His family had disowned him and he was on the streets alone before he got injured.

I remember the nurse at the ER took pity on him and drove him to her house to rest because he didn’t have anywhere to go after he was released.

Recalling that memory brings tears to my eyes even now as I’m typing.

I realize there was so much more to life than what we interact with.

What I Learned:

Living is a gift.

My ER bed was in between three other men behind curtains.

I overheard them but never saw them.

I was sitting there in between an old man crying and wheezing about the pain and blood in his urine (he needed 2 people to help him urinate.)

On the other side of me, a younger sounding man…who had a terminal disease (crohn’s disease?) joking to his friends about hosting a BBQ one last time.

Another man with an injured leg after falling off the roof told the nurse to not contact his family because he didn’t want his family to worry. — It’s Christmas time, he didn’t want to concern his wife

Life is hard.

Life is hard and that’s WHY it’s a gift.

Life is the ultimate gift because it’s a gift wrongfully denied to so many. You can’t ungratefully say you don’t want to live when you can.

So you, even if you’re living next to a trash bin, it’s still a gift. That’s just a fact, get over it

Human memories are short.

Penicillin, the miracle life saving drug that we all know today, was not available to the public until 1945.

Before that, a simple infection could mean amputation or even death.

During WWII, tons of U.S. soldiers died of simple wounds that became infected. They didn’t even know that pouring hard antiseptic was actually counterproductive to healing.

It was hard to accept the notion of “meaning of life” when death was such a cruel end to so many over what we consider simple cases of illness today.

Not even “today” – there are people all over Gaza dying from common infections right now because there is simply no open route to get medical supplies to these war torn areas.

This made me depressed as hell on top of my Benadryl. My husband and I also had an emotional talk about spirituality/religion/life after death (if it existed). Where is God? Do we matter? Then why does anything we do matter?

My husband is a “soft” atheist, he doesn’t really believe in an afterlife. ‘People use religion as a crutch. When we die, we die and nothing we do matters.’

I am undecided – I’m “spiritual” – that means I would like to believe in something but unsure what.

I am spiritual because it’s hard for me to accept that I will never see my loved ones again after I die. Even if I have to lie to myself.

It’s simply the reality of it that frightens me. If that makes me a coward, then I’m a coward. But I would like to believe we are more than just nothing. Alien experiment, fine OK. Truman show, even better.

But I need something because I need some purpose and some justice.

Mad props to docs!

ER doctors and nurses must see shit every day. I was a small fry.

The sweet nurse there told me in comfort, “oh honey, we see this every day. You think you’re the first? Sorry to burst your bubble sweetie but this happens and we see it every day.”

I was in a bubble. And I’m glad it’s burst.

I told my husband how thankful I am to have had this experience. Because it reframed my entire outlook on life.

I hope no one has to take that unfortunate trip to the ER but it’s a lot of important stuff to be learned.

We’re all too privileged.

Life really is too short to do something you hate.

I guarantee you when you’re in that hospital bed, laying there for the doctor, your mind will wander and you’re not going to be thinking about money or work.

That was the least of my concerns…which is really odd because most (like 90%) of my daily activities have been submerged in money and work.

That was a curveball. Actually, the only time I was thinking about money and work when I was laying in the ER was how little I was thinking about money and work even though it was a big part of my life and chosen activities before.

No one sane in the ER will go, “gee, my Personal Capital went down -10.8% this week.” 

Because it doesn’t really matter.

What I was doing/cared about was texting my friends for emotional support. I was talking to my amazing husband (who has taken time off work to go to every medical appointment with me, no matter how small.)

I was thinking about better days in this wonderful life that I have in front of me.

Work + Money < Health = Living.

Work is a filler. It’s like the cheap corn syrup in fake maple syrup. That’s why FIRE is a fab idea.

I just wanted everyone to know who hasn’t been in a scary enough situation to question their existential being.

Money and work/career is a lot less important than what you’re currently thinking.

The 10% of the time you spend with your loved one makes up MOST of your thoughts when you deal with mortality. Whereas you spend 50% of your waking hours doing/thinking about work will make up only 1% of your thoughts when you’re dealing with mortality.

Where’s the logic in that?

Death Bed Regrets?

Let’s be dramatic and explore this. Remember I wrote a post about death bed regrets not that long ago?

Man…guess what I was thinking when I was laying on the ER bed feeling dead hopeless.

I had only 3 regrets:

-I couldn’t be there with my husband/spent more time with him. I love this guy so much… thats my first thought. Followed by, oh crap, who can I set him up with if I go. He needs to be taken care of and have a great life. She can’t be a gold digger, she has to be frugal, she has to be cute…she has to be even better than me so he will never feel sad when I’m gone.

-I didn’t accomplish my main deep life goal – (not about money), I had a story to tell (anonymously) and I didn’t get my chance to tell it. I didn’t fulfill my life purpose or meet my potential, boo.

-I didn’t get to meet my kids or see them grow up.

It was eye-opening to really flush them out.

The having kids one was a big surprise because I was always pushing off having kids/being generally disinterested but there I was regretting / leaving my husband to an empty life.

My husband and I talked a little about the kids thing and decided in addition to the sperm bank that we should prepare for kids within the next 2 years. YAY babies

My original goal was to be a 40-year-old mom and delay it as much as we can until we became financially independent. Plans change

I wanted to be with my husband, I wanted to be at home with my family watching holiday Hallmark specials, I wanted to get more time to set out to do deep life stuff.

Life Changes Implemented:

Redoing our diets for health.

After we shampooed the carpet, laundered everything, and gave the dog a bath – I was feeling a lot better mentally even though I know bad bacteria live everywhere.

We’re eating better and I’ve greatly reduced the quantity of meat I eat. Especially bad meat (animals fed with antibiotics + treated horribly) – we didn’t really before but now I’m even more careful of what I’m buying in the meat section. It’s now downgraded to side dish instead of main course in our household.

I’ve also been taking probiotics and folic acid everyday thanks to the 20 day antibiotic course I’m on. But I’ll continue taking probiotics and multi-vitamins even when I’m done with my course. I’ve put my body through way too much lately.

Take a break.

We’ve never taken a vacation outside of Xmas because we’re secret workaholics. Neglecting health because of work like what I was doing…..is really, really, stupid.

And it’s a horrible ROI. Health IS wealth, health is actually 20 million times more important than wealth!

Adam (from MinaFI) said something funny to me, “Yup, everybody on their death bed is just regretting not blogging enough.” #sarcasm

Does blogging mean a lot to me? Honestly…not anymore, and it shouldn’t be to anyone.

Even though I can’t spend every waking second with hubby, it’s important for me to go to sleep at the same time with him, hang out with him, go on dinner dates etc. I need to make a lot more time for him.

I want to get used to slow, conscious living. Not work 13 hours and crash onto the bed until it’s time to do it again. That’s a terible deal.

Making sure I’m enjoying life by asking myself constantly *IS THIS WORTH DOING.*

Learn to deal with a bad diagnosis someday.

Skin infection? Pffft basic. Try getting that terminal diagnosis someday. We’re all getting one.

Talking to my husband briefly during moments when I was actually awake enough to form sentences…“this is only going to get worst from here.”

We’re all aging.

Bodies will break.

Bodies will rebel.

Not an if; it’s a when.

And we’re going to have to deal with that not just with ourselves or each other, but both sets of our parents as well. Their mortality comes sooner…

Our little Gracie pooch too, she might need to be put down someday.

Getting older is scary because it’s going to happen.

There is going to be one day when you go in and they tell you that bad, unavoidable diagnosis. Then you have to learn to be okay with it and find peace within yourself.

He had to be tall, he had to be smart, he had to be decently good-looking, kind, and he had to come from a good family.

(No one wants nasty in-laws, amirite?)

And most importantly, he needed to be a heavy metal music fan.

(Note: I know now that that’s not the most important thing, duh, I was just being a teenage simpleton.)

I always pictured my husband-to-be to be a brooding but sweet, beautiful, super smart, and..rich xD…with raven black hair and very pale skin.

It’s actually a pretty typical teen girl daydream…if you remove the metalhead part.

Think the young Ville Valo, my first and foremost teenage idol.

Being Realistic

I don’t know if you guys know of any millionaire metalheads who is also funny, sweet, tall, smart, good looking AND would tolerate me but I honestly thought I wouldn’t find someone like that. Realistically.

Even in my lofty 16-year-old brain, I was like, “Pffft, I think most metalheads live in their parent’s basement listening to Graveworm.”

No hate there. I was living in the basement, listening to Graveworm, at age 22, waiting for pizza delivery…so that sounds about right.

Almost Settling

At 21, I settled to date and stay in a relationship (Mr. Executive) that came with both of us knowing it wasn’t a good fit but both being stubborn about “working it out.”

Yes, Mr. E was smart as hell, handsome, tall, nice guy, great family, everything ticked off on paper. Think the doggelganger of Dane Dehaan the actor.

He was a realistic choice, but not the right one.

Mr. E was close-minded and very stern about being a man’s man. He wasn’t really funny, never had me “rolling on the floor” laughing, partly because he always had to keep a closed, robotic, business composure.

I’m a goof ball if y’all haven’t noticed.

He also had a big but fragile ego, which a lot of the CEO types I find…tend to have. Big salary = big ego = and not a world I wanted to be concerned with.

Because he’s an East Coast ivy league golden boy, he also spoke a lot of bad things about poor people. It was obvious he looked down on them.

Which was very awkward…because…uhhhhh….I myself grew up poor? I had my battle scars, his coddled Olympian life probably thought I was dirt if I didn’t have physical attributes he thought was cute.

He was not sensitive about that, and I was 4-5 years younger so I took his judgment to heart.

On the worst days, I felt like a trophy wife…that was all.

It did bother me…looking back…I told him I rather jump off a bridge than be married to him…which was a really, really good sign that he’s not The One.

Ha…

(Just to clarify – Mr. Executive is an amazing human being, his friends adore him/follow him from company to company. He’s moral, strong, innovative, IQ out the wazoo, a natural leader. I’m just ranting about our relationship – NOT HIM as a person.)

The Gods Took Pity

Sadly, I doubted in finding an open-minded metalhead Prince Charming who was OK with me putting nail polish on him, someone a tiny bit more sensitive to issues, someone without an ego to constantly guard, willing to pull jokes/make fun of themselves…and someone to watch Drag Queen shows together.

Bonus points for being frugal and money savvy.

:\ I mean think about that… I mean??? What are the chances of that…in a guy???

Plus all the typical Girl Reqs I mentioned above and thennnnn….they had to be able to withstand my annoying, emotionally baggage ridden, self.

And all the odd things that come with being the husband of mine…you’d have to be a superhero or something.

Related: How I Won The Husband Lottery

*Warning, awkward teenage selfie*

~

~

~

~

Suprisssssssseeeeeeeee curveball! I did MEET MY HEROOO! And that’s my husband.

All by chance, I wasn’t even looking, goddammit this is like a Beyonce song!!!

First Impressions

When I first saw my husband and my first reaction was, “HOLY COW, what a beautiful guy — oooooofff crap, it’ll never happen, I’m dating Mr. E :(“

He told me his first reaction was (and I quote)…“Why would a hot girl want to talk to m—- SHUT UP BRAIN DON’T RUIN A GOOD THING.”

My initial thought was literally, “Oh it’ll never work, our timing will never be right. Next life.”

When I met him I instantly knew — and this sounds so cliche — but I immediately knew that we were meant to be together and that we would be good together.

It was a very, very strong “this is it” feeling.

Which I completely denied.

I was dating Mr. E!!!! So duh, I didn’t dare pursue it.

I was actually trying to hustle off MY HUBBYYY to a girl friend of mine at the time…I needed to move the basic notion of him away.

Good thing they didn’t click haha.

Johnny Depp once said if you are with someone and you fell in love with someone else…go be with that 2nd someone because if you are really in love with the first person, you wouldn’t be in love with the second person.

And you may totally disagree (or agree) with that Depp quote, but I personally found that quote to be true even though initially I disagreed/was in denial about it.

Then stuff happened. Long story.

It all happened so fast like the Universe was screwing with hubby and I.

Mr. E and I split.

I couldn’t believe it but less than 48 HOURS LATER, new boyfriend acquired and (eventual) husband and I were officially a thing.

I wasn’t even sad about Mr. E for enough time…because I knew the man in front of me was the one for me within 10 minutes of meeting him. It was instinct. A woman should always trust her intuitions and I trusted mine.

Some Married Years Later…

Hubby and I got hitched fast haha.

This is my husband explaining what it’s like being married to me hahahaha

“Like being married to a woman who is attractive, charming, funny and intelligent – you are soul mates and everything is perfect, right? She is the perfect woman. You could not ask for a more better woman in the world. You love her, and she loves you.

Only she has one flaw; every 5 minutes she punches you in the face…for no reason. Even at night you wake up, she punches you in the face, you recover, get 4 minutes 38 seconds of sleep, then she punches you in the face, and you love her.”

That was when we were less than a year into our marriage. The first year was the hardest one so far, there were some growing pains (like deciding to invest).

We’ve been married for 3 years now, things are 99% groovy, and I still laugh out loud whenever I see that quote again. He makes me LMAO so much, every single day.

And I’ll love him always and forever………as long as Ville Valo isn’t at my doorstep xD then we’ll talk.

Relationship Takeaway

*I’m still a firm believer in that feeling…you will know the One is the One. It could be subconscious or just a logical calculation of personalities but it’s real.

*You know it’s not right, they know it’s not right. But moving forward alone is scary enough to keep a relationship going way past the expiration date. We’re all afraid of being alone to a degree.

*To me, love is easy and love should be easy. Love should never be hard. Marriage is the one that should be a lil hard

~

Sorry, this was such a rushed post…I skipped over a lot. I didn’t think it was going to be so long in my head. What do you think of Depp’s quote? Who was your teen dream crush?!

This is my second “free film for the weekend” where I share with you guys on Friday an interesting documentary or show I encountered so you can watch too.

For those without any social lives (yay), you can binge watch it this weekend.

Also, you can watch the first free film for the weekend here, it’s about the dying middle class of America over a 30 year period. (Depressing!)

Rich House, Poor House

Rich House, Poor House is currently in its 4th season and it’s pretty popular of a show with a solid UK following. The personalities and stories of families featured greatly dictate each individual episode quality.

Basically, you take a “top 10%” family in the UK and swap lives for a week with a “bottom 10%” UK family. They switch places, homes, cars, schools, budgets and talk into a bathroom camera of theirs experiences.

Both families must live by the rules, schedules, and budgets of each other and “walk in each other’s shoes” so to speak. Then there’s some reflection after the swap is over of what they learned. 

The synopsis is really that simple and formulaic. But what’s interesting to most people who are fans of the show is just getting to know each family.

The most interesting thing for me is learning where the top 10% family made their money, or why the bottom 10% family ended up where they are.

Here is a list of my favorite episodes to get you addicted. Since they’re separate families, it doesn’t matter which order you watch them in really.

~

This one is going to make you ball your eyes out. I know we did. Watch it watch it watch it ???

Why isn’t there more kindness in the worlddddddddddd.

~

Rich dad is dorky and hilarious. The poor dad in this one is so adorable and clearly loves his family.

“I got 1,000 pounds in me wallet right now….I…I probably have friends who would mug me.” <-LOL.

~

This one, the rich family is sooo cute, and I love their successful immigrant story.

~

Finally, the reunion episode because it’s obligatory!! The Leamon’s little girl is such an angel!

“That’s Interesting!“

• Panhandling: How Much Money Do Panhandlers REALLY Make?
• How To Make Money As An Instagram Influencer (Internet Fame That Pays?)
• 39 People Who Got Richer AFTER Quitting Their Day Jobs
• Can Being a “Friend-For-Rent” Really Make Extra Money?

What I Like

It’s heartwarming and sweet and English people are adorable all around.

As with UK’s Supernanny, Kitchen Nightmares, The Office, and Wifeswap, I’m hoping this UK based series will make it to America someday too but…a little softer.

I would be a little scared to admit how horribly gargantuan the wealth gap is in the United States. If you take the top 10% household and pit them against the bottom 10% here, it’s just going to make everyone depressed.

So far, it’s been all heartwarming episodes of mutual respect and understanding between two families.

There is (thankfully) no personal drama in these shows, like drug use or fighting with spouse etc.

The poor families are only stressed about money but they’re really happy with each other and love each other, which I think is the most important thing.

What I Don’t Like

It’s not going to win any intellectual Oscars with it’s 1 dimensional script, dialogue, and reporting. But it’s good for zombie brain days and some feel goodness.

It’s odd that the 2 families that swap never get to meet face to face after the week is over. On Wifeswap, both families have to sit in front of a big awkward table and talk about how much they hated each other.

Not Rich House, Poor House! Drama and hate free!

Some of the families should have definitely met each other, but I guess that’s what the reunion episode is for

Some people complain about “poverty tourism” (stole that phrase from Chief Mom Officer) which…yeah OK I can see that in this show. No one is going to say “wow, I want to be like the poor family forever!” Just for a week.

Half the show is just being shocked how a family of 5 can live on $150 pounds a week etc.

The other half is how a rich family can have $2,000 pounds in disposable income a week.

You always feel bad when the poor family has to go back home because they see how sweet life is without worrying about $$ etc.

There’s a lot of potentials here but the editing makes it so cookie cutter in plot. If the families themselves aren’t characteristic enough it gets snore-y.

Conclusion

Still worth a watch because the families are so real and it does make anyone watching feel motivated to work harder for a better life. Also, it disproves a lot of stereotypes. A lot of the rich families are self-made millionaires even though the stereotype is that rich people inherit it. The poor families do work hard but sometimes life happens, you don’t always get to get up in time for a full recovery.

And yeah that’s it, happy weekend!

~

In school, my father was always the slowest one in the pack. He was also the slowest one of his siblings. Unlike him, most of his siblings grew up to become college professors and learned men.

He showed no curiosity in education and he was forever a mediocre factory worker and minimum wage fellow. He always thought that school was hard but schooling in the United States was pretty easy to me.

The problem for me was affording college, which led me to seek a minimum wage teen job.

Quick Notice: Sign up to our mailing list NOW if you haven’t already. Don’t worry, I rarely send out many emails. We have upcoming happenings etc etc. so it’s better to be in the Lily-loop first, trust me.

EVERY TEENAGER NEEDS A CRAP JOB

That’s how you scare them straight hahaha.

My dad didn’t allow me to work part-time. This is an example of where I think my parent’s lack of education and awareness hurt me.

Related: Saving Money For College Does More Than Pay Tuition

I applied to a few part-time jobs under his nose when I was a sophomore in high school to help out and save for college.

I applied to a bunch of boba tea chain places popping up like mushrooms in San Francisco at the time.

(FYI, boba cafés are the Asian-American equivalent of a job at Starbucks or McDonald’s to another regular teenager anywhere else.)

Unfortunately, when they called my number for an on-site job interview, I was out and my dad picked up. He found out and immediately told them I was not allowed to work anywhere.

He said, “she has to focus on her education” and hung up the phone. 

Instead of being happy that his daughter was willing to work for a buck, he concluded that I went behind his back and applied for work.

He was very angry with me and my mother to a lesser extent.

Given that I was a minor, another small teenage fish in the hiring pool, there was no way I was going to get jobs if there was no parental approval first.

I know that sounds odd to American parents who typically encourage teen jobs, but to my parents, my education was a lot more important than putting food on the table.

Related: The 11 Perks of Growing Up Poor

My mom didn’t go above 4th grade (that’s what she told me) so she didn’t know what it entailed to give permission.

Education > Everything Else

Education was the most important thing to not end up like them. So I can understand that…but still at 16…I wanted to scream back that, “it’s just high school…a medicore one at that.”

I could have passed with both hands tied behind my back and my eyes scrambled out by tweezers.

As long as you half-ass the assignments, scrape by on exams, be deaf and blind like I ALREADY was (we couldn’t afford glasses or healthcare) you can still get by with a B average.

It’s a public freaking high school in one of the worst performing areas with the worst funding — teachers WANT to pass you for statistical reasons. More funding for the broke ass school! 

What I needed to learn was real time management skills, which a teen job could have taught me.

I couldn’t converse with my parents to express any advance feelings. I immigrated when I was between 3rd grade.

It’s just another symptom of immigrant families – the language barrier gets worst the older you get.

Plus, it’s pointless to argue with an old man with extreme anger and control issues.

I believe it is really, really important for a teenager to go through the rite of passage of working at a minimum wage job.

The minimum wage gig is suppose to represent how bad it could get IF you don’t do the best you can in school and make something out of yourself.

Plus all of those possible hours could have netted me a pretty penny by the end of high school.

I was going to save every penny possible. It would have given me a leg up on college AND taught me the valuable lesson of NEVER, EVER ending up in a life working in retail or food service.

Related: 4 Profound Things I Wish I Knew Before Growing Up

Internship vs Crap Job?

By Junior year, I landed a posh-y internship with my friends that paid a stipend.

It didn’t make up for the money I could have made working afternoon shifts but the design and media elements definitely gave me a more interesting teenage “job” than working at a boba cafe.

My parents didn’t even know I had a paid professional gig because they came home from work late. It was the perfect crime!

Related: How I Paid Off $20,000 In Student Loans Working Part-Time

But I would have learned a lot more about life and struggle if I ended up working at McDonald’s or something.

After I graduated from university,  I did get into a crappy restaurant hosting gig and I learned the typical lessons of hating your boss, hating manual labor, hating the interpersonal politics, bad hours, bad treatment, lack of advancement etc.

I would have learned: “It’s like that with all jobs but at least get something that pays more than $8/hour to deal with it. :P”

FANTASTIC lesson, but a little too late. I wish I learned those when I was 16, not 22. 

~

I mean, I did basically cripple my one and only dog daughter so……..no, I’m not overreacting, HONNNNEYY.

(Actually yes…I am totally overreacting but I love Gracie.)

Now to write a post about this terrible experience and bright side: all the easy, at home hacks I tested and learned trying various suggestions + getting creative.

~NOT A VET NOT A VET NOT A VET DON’T TAKE MY ADVICE AS MEDICAL DOGGY ADVICE NOT A VET NOT A VET~

Recommendations for You

• Low Cost Self Employment Tax Help for Freelancers
• Launch Your Own Dog Sitting Business! – Make Money on Rover With These 15 Pet Sitting Tips

After Cutting Dog’s Claws Too Short…

Industry Advice

Kwik Stop septic powder is the traditional and most recommended solution to stop bleeding and to build up protection against the exposed area to prevent infection.

This didn’t do me any good. The nearest pet store is 30 minutes away and I couldn’t leave my dog home alone bleeding away!!!

Manic Panic Advice

We got the clippers secondhand from a neighbor friend, we didn’t have any powder or do enough research beforehand. It never occurred to (cocky) me that I was going to hurt Grace.

Hopefully, no one is in a similar boat but if you are — I have hapless at-home solutions for anyone to ensure their doggy stops bleeding, avoid an infection, and keep them off their paws off so it won’t scrape and bleed again.

How to Stop Dog Nail Bleeding At Home

Stop the Bleeding

1. Make sure your dog is restrained and not actively running around. It’s important to train your dog in at least basic commands such as “lay down” and “stay.” Use a treat to distract your dog.

2. Compress the bleeding paw with a clean paper napkin or towel for 2 minutes until bleeding slows. YOU HAVE TO REMAIN CALM. A dog will pick up owner’s panic and freak out too.

(The ice cube compression method does not work, it just made my dog more jittery because of the cold.)

3. Clean the wound to prevent infection. I had some antibacterial, antiseptic squirt foam but it’s just as good to use soap or wipes. Anything to clean! This part is cringy and your dog won’t like it but it’s important to clean the area to prevent infection.

4. To stop the blood, grab a small bowl, fill it with regular cornstarch. You can also mix in baking soda as well. Another option is regular flour if you have no cornstarch or baking powder. This is to aid in stopping bleeding quicker by mixing with the blood and creating an artificial clot.

5. Dip the bleeding claw into a small bowl of cornstarch/baking soda/flour and HOLD it in it for a few minutes. Make sure the mixture is packed in. If blood is still flooding, do it again, and again until it stops bleeding. Dog blood typically clogs naturally after 3 minutes.

Maintain a Clot

6. Grace didn’t stop bleeding until a third dip into cornstarch. PHEW~ make sure keep them off their feet so friction doesn’t rub it back to bleeding.

7. …But WAIT. THEY’RE DOGS. Keeping Grace off her feet was non-option. She didn’t seem to know or care she was injured (dogs!). I kept her in place with treats and staying near her. But 2 hours later, Airbnb guests came and she sprinted off the bed to greet them. The friction with the carpet opened up the claw wound, AGAIN.

*Repeats step 1-5 above.*

Homemade Bandages?

In my 2nd panic, I put a human band-aid on Grace…which didn’t work out because…she’s covered in fur and her paws are…paws. The blood eventually seeped through the band-aid before I realize…I’m a moron. 

Well, this is bad. It seems like if she moves, her claw was going to start bleeding over and over again. The dog does need her walks, playtimes, runs, potty times…

So we need a barrier…or case around her paw or something. Time to get creative…

7. SUPERGLUE? — I read that on Reddit as someone suggested using a dollop of superglue at the claw tip. The glue will seal it, create a false barrier, and prevent friction. Buuuut I didn’t have superglue. We tried regular non-toxic Elmer’s glue but it’s weaker so it wasn’t a perfect solution. To be safe, do not try ANY glue unless you know it’s safe and non-toxic. You don’t want anything getting into your dog’s bloodstream and making things worst.

8. Paper towel/terry cloth — It can work but it was too easy for Grace to shake off or bite off. We don’t have a dog cone that fit her anymore, plus it wasn’t waterproof for her trips out.

9. SARAN WRAP!!!!! — BINGO, I’m a genius. I wrapped her cleaned paws in layers of saran wrap and then taped it so she won’t try to lick it off. Then I put a sock over all of it and took her out to potty. This method did lessen / almost erase the pressure directly to her cut quick. It worked like a…very ghetto dressing.

Saran wrap = Easy to remove, easy to change out, inexpensive, everyone has it, AND waterproof!

Some other ideas…play-safe, non-toxic, clay putty laying around?! In nature, it’s usually just good old mud

 Related Reads:

• All You Need to Know About Becoming an Amazon Flex Driver (Starting $18 to $30/hr)
• 7+ Companies That Will Pay You To Lose Weight (Really!)
• How To Work From Home Creating a Profitable Doggy Day Care

Healing Time

Online, they said dogs should be back to normal in about 3 to 7 days. It’s been 4+ days and I’m still not assured she’s sound yet. There’s a small peep of red/pink although bleeding has stopped for a few days.

Another source said 2 weeks for the quick to recede and claw to grow – that one I find more believable.

Inside the house, we cover her paw in my husband’s socks just to prevent unnecessary friction. I was very afraid she would lick or bite it back to bleeding again, so it was smart to keep it under a sock.

Idea to waterproof homemade bandage or sock — rubberband a small plastic bag around when you take doggy out to walk/play/potty or else the sock will absorb moisture and become wet, which isn’t good sanitation to have dirt fermenting near the claw.

And yup that’s what we did. A pretty practical although kind of haphazard, ghetto solution to get out of this paltry mess.

~

So how did this happen?? Life optimization went a little wrong…

In a continual effort to be more resourceful with our daily living, we landed a free dog nail clipper from our friends. They have a new puppy but both were afraid of clipping his claws so they gave us the clipper and went the professional route.

Cutting a dog’s quick happens commonly enough that most people are not bothered by it. Typically in the pet section near nail clippers are also where they place Kwik septic powder. Some brands of clippers even include a container of septic powder for owners just in case.

Still, a lot of pet owners do it at a groomer instead of clipping their dog’s nails at home.

It’s roughly about $15 where we live for the techs to trim. Typically you should give your dog a trim about once a month.

$15 x 12 months = $180/year. That’s not bad; but still an expense.

$180 x 13 years (dog’s average lifespan) = $2,340. It’s about $2,300+ over a dog’s lifespan. It’s one of the less costly expenses but a chunk in the wallet for what is essentially dog manicures nevertheless.

It takes +/- 30 minutes to drag Grace to the groomer because she hates it and fights us most of the way. We decided spending the money and time for a dog manicure was not efficient.

We tested out the clipper at home slowly. Grace didn’t mind the clipper. She thought it was a toy and kept trying to play with it.

There were no accidents as we were super careful.

By the 3rd week of occasional snip snips to get her used to it, I was confident and comfortable with clipping her claws.

“Look at me, I just saved myself $2,300 smackaroos and tons of hours. Gonna write a post about this win anddd…” -Me

“That’s Interesting!“

• Panhandling: How Much Money Do Panhandlers REALLY Make?
• How To Make Money As An Instagram Influencer (Internet Fame That Pays?)
• 39 People Who Got Richer AFTER Quitting Their Day Jobs
• Can Being a “Friend-For-Rent” Really Make Extra Money?

Then I had an accident.

I took a chunk of nail off falsely thinking her claws were retracted back.

Grace shook up and jumped off the sofa suddenly. I thought, “oh dear, I probably scared her. Oh well, she took it in stride.”

I didn’t think I did much damage.

Then I came back 5 minutes later, and one of her paws was leaking splats of blood across the living room rug, wooden floor, carpet stairs, hallway, all the way into our bedrooms.

Every step she walked, she left penny size blood drops onto the ground.

I was home alone, there were blood splatters on two floors, my Airbnb guests coming anytime and will wonder why there’s blood scattered everywhere. Not sure if Airbnb guests like walking in and seeing blood everywhere…but probably not.

Poor thing didn’t completely understand what was going on. She sniffed her own blood on the carpet curiously and then sniffed her own foot.

This tiny bitty nail incident has meant 2 stressed out owners, under-exercised dog, confused Airbnbers, 1 week of careful monitoring, another 1 week being careful, loss of sleep, running low on saran wrap, low on socks, and…hilarity watching Grace walk in human socks. Like when you put cats into mittens haha.

Lastly, my husband continuously joking what I would do when we had real kids if that’s how I react to a dog…

Laugh at me now but when you make an innocent doggy bleed, you would freak out too!

If you’re a first-time pet parent like I am, with limited experiences on a farm, and pretty soft in the dear heart…cutting your pooches claw way too short…is going to be a terrible experience. Certainly more so for the owner than the dogs themselves ironically.

Hope whoever reads this one day during a similar panic finds this helpful!!!

It’s probably weird if someone said, “wow, my life is great right now so I need to do something to change it asap” but that’s basically what I’m getting at.

Sounds counter-intuitive right?

Several comments bought up fitness as something great but counter-intuitive. Totally true! Being fit requires some serious soreness, lots of time commitment to nutrition and working out consistently. None of which is comfortable – but should you still do it? Absolutely!

Normal people find good in comfort but the biggest thing I’ve learned in 2018 is how little good comfort actually does. Especially if you’re only in your 20s, 30s, and 40s. The body isn’t tired so the spirit shouldn’t be either!

The latter half of my 2018 has been a mulling of comfort. I sold our Airbnb rental and that freed a few hours. I streamlined some of my duties for the rest of my 2 Airbnbs and puppers daycare so I got a chance to recover from burnout.

Sounds great right? Mini vacation!

Well, not after about 2 months! You can’t go on perma-vacation mode. Then comes dreaded boredom…

Where my husband works, the workplace consensus for a complete “work reset” is about 6 weeks. I found that to be very true. Employees usually need 6 weeks to completely remove themselves from burnout plus recover to a normal state.

It was also around mid-2018 of this year that we hit our first $1 million in liquid net worth. For a lot of people, $1 million dollars is the hallmark of “OK, I can retire early and live relatively prudently from now on.”

 Related Reads:

• How Much Money Does Our Frugality Save? (Spoiler: $56,000+/Year)
• Eat Ugly, Save Money? Imperfect Produce Review (+ FREE COUPON)
• Everything ‘Married…With Children’ Did That Kept Them Poor

It’s an enviable position and we are certainly charmed that Lady Luck has kissed us slightly earlier on at age 27 and 30. Don’t get me wrong on that.

But I noticed it was during all that, the whole “deep life projects” really came out springing and fighting to be heard.

(Refresher course: deep life projects = a focus on mastery, continuing learning, passion, meaning, and celebrating individualistic talents.)

Actually…2018 has been quite exciting. All I have to do is read back on this blog diary and realize I’ve learned + grown a lot.

I’ve got even more to learn! Likeeee, I just learned this: comfort can be bad.

via GIPHY

Why Comfort is Bad

Short and sweet: comfort is bad because facing adversity keeps us fighting, growing, learning and forcibly places our trust in others we wouldn’t have given away otherwise.

“The goal isn’t to avoid lifting a finger on this planet, but to dig in with both hands to the wisdom of uncomfortable places.” –Joe Robinson

They say some animals placed into captivity suffer or die earlier from boredom. This puts zoos in a critical position to entertain these intelligent animals with proper surroundings. They’re not used to domesticated comforts coming from a lifetime of struggling in the wild.

When The Frugal Gene started becoming more and more comfortable, I started getting bored.

Boredom turns to apathy and apathy does nothing for growth.

I started piecing other web projects together to shake myself out of my comfort zone and tap into a portion of me that wouldn’t necessarily fit in with the rant spitting, uber personal, frugal loving blog TFG is.

But that’s not to say I don’t adore almost 200 posts written on this blog.

You can see my journey as a person. I’m pretty damn sure I’ve said a couple of embarrassing things within those 200 posts that today I think… “wow, you dumb ass.”

But I don’t take it back.

There’s no regret. It’s all part of my growth as a person of age 25/26.

I’m proud of everything I work on, I can see my own personal growth from just last year alone has been astounding.

It’s amaze-balls O_O!

 Related Reads:

• The Costs of Sperm Banking (And How We Saved Money On It)
• 13 (Sensible) Upper Middle Class Characteristics & Status Symbols

Every new thing is a challenge. That’s one selfish reason to build more projects and never fully “retire.”

It adds a necessary excitement and purpose back into my rather boring, captive life. 

~

How to Be Uncomfortable

Comfort isn’t always bad. But it’s mostly bad to me because that’s when a lot of amazing people with great potential get…lazy.

I’m afraid my hubby might be such a person although I’m grooming him away slowly as he picks up my infectious drive. —

(Until we become parents one day that is, which is a hugeeee project in itself.)

So how do you fight stagnating comfort once you have encountered it? Don’t worry, it doesn’t happen overnight so just give generous time. You have to find a passion first and then do it scared.

1. Make Measured Risks

Taking up measured risks for most of us is simply becoming financially independent enough to make an untraditional sacrifice or move.

For example, I had to scale back slightly on this blog even though it’s doing well. I love that whatever is in my head is being read by thousands of new people every month. But sometimes, you have to sacrifice a little darling piece in order to move forward.

A good number of you readers already know about what one of my secret projects is

I’ve been spending a good few hours everyday building it up.

It sounds dorky but I never had so much fun in my life wiggling with this new project.

It’s extremely difficult for me to come off positive, extroverted, and short-versed (instead of the side rants I go on typically on this blog.) Project “M” is more than halfway out of my comfort zone for sure yet I LOVE IT.

One can’t even fathom how happy I am to figure out this entire puzzle. I *love* a good challenge and this is definitely one. After I get a hang of this first project then I can gather my knowledge to build and do something even more challenging! 

Don’t get me wrong…almost everything is frustrating as hell. I didn’t exactly make the best decisions from the get-go even with prior experience…

But that’s the best thing: I learned a lot more fudging up!

The more frustrating = the more rewarding. How odd is that?

It’s like a teething baby. High rates of new growth hurt.

Soon a new set of teeth will come in and allow you to bite off new, better, wonderful things.

 Related Reads:

• 4 Profound Things I Wish I Knew Before Growing Up
• Effective But Semi Illegal Ways To Pay Off Student Loans
• Top 5 Financial Mistakes I’ve Made In My Early 20s

2. Hack Your Brain

In my sleep, I concentrate on a problem before bed and I can usually retain a portion of consciousness while asleep to analyze and solve that problem before I wake up.

NOT sure if there’s a scientific term for it…is it called…Incubation? Or another form of lucid dreaming?

(*Tries to recall my neuroscience university days…*)

EDIT: I found a Psychology Today article about problem-solving while asleep if you want to learn more.

“We’ve come across many individuals who regularly use lucid dreaming to tackle problems they find difficult to solve in waking life. One professional musician hears rock lyrics when he becomes lucid, which he writes down the next day. And one painter dreams he is standing at a door that separates him from his next masterpiece. After walking through the door, he studies the painting that appears and repaints it later from memory.”

I know if I think about a problem deeply before bed, I will continue solving it in my sleep that I wouldn’t have been able to if I was awake. Pretty neat feature o’ human brain ?

No matter what I was studying in school, I’ve ever done that before. I never felt the need to disturb my sleep to figure things out in any subject because I didn’t care.

Schooling for me was largely a waste. Yes, I was a good student – honors, dean’s list blah blah blah – but I definitely had no interest in what I was learning.

They gave us set criteria and boxes to learn and study – biology class, psychology, literature, organic chemistry etc. neat little boxes. But life is wider than that.

Self-learning is one of heck of a skill (my public) school didn’t teach. Lucid learning is a kick-ass feature too!

3. Bring Dedication

Most people (especially my ex-workers) were happy with a 9 to 5 work life. Pick up a paycheck, drive home, see their kids (not about the kids) for an hour or two then sleep.

I couldn’t make it past the first week employed without feeling crushed and empty no matter what extracurricular sprinkles I put on my poopy life sundae.

*insert poop sundae image*

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. It was spectacularly startling of a difference between others and myself. I thought there was something wrong with me because I demanded so much more from my life. And I never found anything or had a positive environment that encouraged me, coming from a dilapidated household of bad role models.

Related Reads:

• Debt and Suicide – Why I’m Proud To Be A Grown-Up Tattletale
• The 11 Perks of Growing Up Poor

The past 7 nights of sleeping, 3 of those nights I had problem-solving dreams regarding issues associated with my deep life work and woke up so happy to have solved them! This is what I like to submerge myself in. Not sure what more proof do I require from myself that I enjoy what I do

There are more backend work and TONS of learning. Oh. My. God. I love learning and growing in this entire journey, it is fascinating. Probably the most fun I’ve had in a while!

Naturally, I’m hoping ALL of my life projects will pay off one day too of course. It doesn’t matter when…I have the rest of my Life (22,000 days!)

It can be when I’m dead/unsuccessful, doesn’t matter! I live on the hope of reaffirmation and interest which drives dedication.

All in all, it’s much better to fall in total love doing something than sitting there with absolutely nothing. Yeah?

4. Learn to Learn (Even if You’re Not “Smart”)

OK, I’m done gloating about how much I love my work.

I know I’m not as smart as 80% of other finance bloggers. Bottom 20%, and that’s being generous with myself. But-but-butttt, I *try* harder to make up for my shortcomings by mixing in creativity and some damn fine luck. Of course, I wish I was smarter/faster learner but I know where I want to go and do with my life which is a huge leg up that most people don’t have.

I’ll never be the smartest person in a FinCon room but that’s good because I can learn from them.

~

There are a lot of ways a person can step out of their comfort zone and take a risk. Have you ever exchanged or risk something with something else even though it was going just fine? Have you ever solved problems while asleep? 

We are an online community based on conscious spending and finding the best value so every newbie out there is going to be asking themselves this question at one point or another…“Should I go to FinCon?”

I honestly didn’t think FinCon’s worth going to before, to be honest. I only went this year because I got a scholarship from the Center For Financial Services Innovation that covered everything. My day with CFSI was really eye-opening and long so I’ll write a separate review to that.

Right now = FinCon.

My total trip cost was not exactly cheap at $1,239.50 total for just me.

But I wasn’t trying to be very frugal. I was there for 6 days and I wined and dined pretty well. Not to mention I took a Lyft everywhere I went I’m including the actual complete total – ie. using our flight miles from credit hacking, all my flights were technically free but the price still includes as if I purchased the ticket.

To kill some suspense, YES I thought it was worth going to but I’ll only tell you why last – use the content menu below to navigate to that section near the bottom of this post. The middle parts of this post = me being a chatty cathy.

My Goals for This Trip

This was a complicated trip so let me run through my itinerary and goals for the entire trip.

1. First of all, this trip was sponsored. Large portions of my entire trip were covered by a scholarship I received earlier this year. I attended FinX which took place before FinCon opened. CFSI runs this scholarship so remember to enter next year!

(At the scholarship dinner, people ask me what I wrote about…and I…totally forgot because it was 9 months ago LOL. Embarassing…so pro-tip: don’t forget what you wrote your post about. x_x)

2. Secondly, I was excited about attending my first FinCon. I didn’t read or keep track much about who was coming or what happened at FinCon in previous years. I was only eyeing the workshops because they could be useful to my deep life projects down the road.

No, I did not go to further my growth with this blog. In fact, when I was there, I almost killed this blog. My job was to attend as many workshops as possible, not to make friends…….or so that was the plan.

3. I wanted to scout out Florida as a home location for our post-FIRE plans. Staying in Washington is plan A but I didn’t want to be close minded. Florida fits the bill for a lot of things on our dream FIRE location checklist: international city full of food, sights, family friendly, cultural diversity, business-friendly and tax friendly.

It was my job to see if I could picture myself living here. My husband did not want to come with me for this particular FinCon trip because of Florida’s hot and humid weather. (Yes, my husband loves the cold weather of his popsicle ancestors.)

4. I have never traveled alone on a flight longer than 2 hours. I wanted to see how I handled a long plane ride.

5. this trip happened to coincide with a trip we were planning back to California. My husband decided to fly straight to California first while I will fly out from Orlando to California after FinCon. Technically my vacation continued after FinCon. My husband and I regrouped to catch up with family for a few more days. Now it’s back to Seattle to hang out with old schoolmates who are visiting!

6. Wanted to see once and for all if FinCon was really worth going to…because as a casual loner…what the heck is everyone even raving about??? Who is dealing out this kool-aid? If we’re all anonymous online then why are we paying money to see each other face to face…

My Result from This Trip

Holy crap I had fun.

1. With this scholarship came duties that needed to be fulfilled so I arrived a few days before FinCon officially started. I didn’t want to miss anything and I wanted to be well rested. I wanted “earn” my scholarship by making sure I fulfilled the full syllabus.

Good thing I planned to come early because some other things delayed the trip (from transportation to hotel etc.) I basically spent the entire first day sorting it out which meant I got no catch-up sleep. I know for the first 2 days I was running on 6 hours of sleep in total. I was there for 5 days and I averaged about 30 hours of sleep for the entire 5 days I was there.

I thought it was going to be a vacation…FinCon was more like a marathon. Everyone was there and everyone wanted to hang out with everybody else…like a tsunami of excited people.

Sorry to any blogger who caught me falling asleep or semi-delirious hahaha.

2. The workshops are what I (foolishly) believed was the core value of FinCon. Nah. If you wanted workshops then you’re better off just buying the virtual pass and skipping the ever expensive hotel and flight cost. The virtual pass will give you access to all the workshops filmed at FinCon.

See, these workshops take place in the SAME timeslot (BOO!) so if you wanted to go to two different workshops…you can’t. Plus some of these workshops started are as early as 8 AM….and I needed to get ready, eat, Lyft there. There was no way I could get up before 7 AM jet lagged.  7 AM was my 4 AM west coast time! Hell to the noooooo!!

I’m too spoiled to wake up before 10 AM! Hopefully, your experience will vary from my spoiled lazy ass…but I just couldn’t get up.

But here’s the thing about FinCon that made it worth the hotel and flight cost…

MEETING OTHER PEOPLE YAAAAAAAY!

I’m super asocial so I’m surprised to hear myself utter those words…but it’s true. I met some COOL ASS KIDS.

And by “cool” I mean my definition of cool…which actually means fellow dorks. Money dorks.

3. NOooooooooooOoooooOOooooooope. We are not moving to Florida. The weather is just…absolutely weird. I stepped out of the airport and the air was so thick from the humidity. It was 9 pm and somehow still 78 degrees outside. For a random 10 minutes or so a day, heavy rain showers randomly appear.

Florida rain is different from Seattle rain. The droplets from Florida rains is WARM. The rain droplets are big and when drops hit you, you feel it. Seattle rain is cold, sometimes goes on all day, and the droplets are tiny like a mist.

Orlando has super sweet and VERY social people (compare to Seattle) which is a great thing for most people but…it freaked me out. I was standing at reception, checking in at the hotel, and people come up to start a friendly conversation like it was nothing.

I had some trouble with carrying my luggage and this guy was just like (in half Spanish) “oh here, you can hook it on mine until your ride gets here. Is this your first time in Orlando? :)” This exact situation in Seattle wouldn’t happen. People would NOT come up to you to start a convo. Some will offer help but it’s cold and distant. They’re definitely not going to pretend like they know you after or even try to start a conversation during. NO EYE CONTACT EITHER, it’s great!

It made me realize how much I ADORE the Pacific Northwest in general. I think Seattle has some super intelligent people up here. Quiet and smart types like my husband. Not overly friendly or social. If you haven’t heard of the term Seattle Freeze…yes it’s definitely real here.

4. Even though I was on a scholarship, I decided to be economical with their money. I took a frugal red-eye flight thinking I could just sleep for the entire duration…nope that did not happen. I couldn’t sleep a wink.

I was stuck in a tiny seat with nowhere to put my head. When I ask the stewardess nicely for a cup of water for my antibiotics medicine she said “no” and…walked off. The same thing happened again on my return flight too and my fellow flight takers sitting next to me offer me help instead. Maybe I should have filed complaints or something because I’m pretty sure it’s their job as “attendants.”

Let’s just say…if this is what traveling is typically like, I’m staying put in Washington or just hoping for driverless cars. How do people do this with kids on international flights??? I felt like a chained cattle.

5. That was basically this post: Two Different Ways in Approaching a Fulfilling Life (Asian Style)

6. Yes, it was worth it. Beyond just a convention, it’s the connection you make. I didn’t get much out of the brands or monetization part but that was secondary to me anyway. Frugal Gene = Diary blog of my life.

FinCon was a great experience.

If you think FinCon ends when the convention ends then you’re wrong. I flew to California right after Orlando for a mini vacation with hubby and I meet Greg from Greg Chats Cash, another FinCon attendee/podcaster who recognized me by my buckets of stolen FinCon swag

Jump below for more…Is FinCon Worth It? 6 Things I Learned/Notice.

Programs I thought were awesome…

I am not affiliated with these 2 companies at all. I was introduced to a lot of companies and these two stuck out to me as ingenious ideas.

Once again, not affiliated, haven’t tried them, just thought they were really good ideas and deserve the attention

1. CollegeBacker – Save for college with help from family and friends

The easiest way to get everyone in the family involved in saving for college. I was sooooo impressed with this idea I made a mental note to tell everyone. Instead of physical consumerist gifts from grandma, uncle, auntie etc. this program + app lets you invite family and friends to save for your child’s 529 plan. Plus, it’s free!

2. Greenlight Card – The Debit Card for Kids

Parents can give their kids a Greenlight debit card so they can teach kids good spending habits and while giving them allowances to manage etc. Lots of features and parents get control and tracking on their kids’ money. Super clever!!!

3. Playing With FIRE (a Financial Independence Doc!! :O)

Oh my gosh, the early retirement community is going to get their OWN documentary!!! Seriously! It’s a project on Kickstarter right now but it’s already filmed – they need to edit it.

I had my CFSI dinner with the creators AND then I had dinner with the rest of the crew members the next day. Talk about rubbing elbows with stars, that’s how I felt!

I asked them some hard questions on how they will address the question of privilege etc. Yes, this documentary will go into those topics and many other complaints lodged against the FIRE community. For that, I’m super interested in seeing how they will try to dissolve the misunderstandings/misconceptions others hold.

Hint: we focus way too hard on the early retirement thing and not enough on FI.

(Almost) Everyone That I Met

Note: Don’t grill me if I missed anyone, just let me know if I missed ya:) Nothing is really in order, I’m literally a month late to write this up so nothing is fresh up in my head and this is all from memory haha.

Overachieving Cats

Well, to be honest, I don’t think it should be named FinCon. I mean, FinCon is a great name. But a more reflective name would be…The Gathering of Chronic Overachievers Un-Anonymous. I can’t even recount how many doctors, lawyers, engineers, financiers, CEOs, CFOs I’ve met around one dinner table.

More than 80% of everyone barely in their 20s and 30s. Little ol’ me was just…hanging out with them. Total imposter syndrome.

Do you what these people do when they come home from their super impressive day jobs?

Apparently, they write up blog posts for you and me to read the next day.

Like…take a break already goddamn. When do you people sleep?

You’re already a Rockstar Millionaire Cowboy Ninja PhD at age 23 – and now you want to make Internet history by 25 and get on the front page of Business Insider or something? (cough yes…)

I didn’t come up with the overachiever realization – THAT was Accidental FIRE – whom I also had the pleasure of dining with.

After he said that, I took a look around the table + room we were in…and thought to myself…holy crap, he’s right.

I put almost everyone under overachievers even though most didn’t give off that vibe. I believe overachievers are all on a spectrum and these people are all functioning overachievers (ie, don’t stop, it’s working for you!)

Janet from My Twenty Cents

Janet needs to give herself more credit. She’s doing her PhD like it’s nothing.

I met her first and we talked for a long ass time about life. I think I was being too chatty when I should have been sleeping for my sanity the next day instead haha.

I can’t even remember what we talked about exactly but it was Asian girl stuff. Boyfriends, parents, PhD, citizenship stuff, career plans and lots of life stuff. I do remember I thought her citizenship situation was soooo unfair. Janet’s very independent and robust in her approach to life, in comparison to me. She has more strength than she lets on.

For some reason, talking to her made me miss my husband SO MUCH since she’s away from her boyfriend too.

I felt really grateful for my husband because…once again…winning the husband lottery…I haven’t been away from him for more than a week ever. We’re always together. When we’re away from each other, we video call each other for hours, doing absolutely nothing…like a bunch of stupid teenagers in love.

I thought that was normal for a couple until I realized Janet and Olivia don’t do that… They’re both more independent than me I suppose. My husband is needy too. He wanted to call and see me etc. My roommate back in college…she would fall asleep while on the phone with her boyfriend for the whole night. That’s who I learned it from hahaha. >_<

Olivia from Birds of a FIRE

As I feared, she’s the scary kind of smart. She might rule over the world someday so I would…suck up to her now. L0L!

Ha……like I’m actually dead serious though…..

We talked about something..something…robotic arm she wanted to make after she FIREs. I was falling asleep hardcore but she does have a very interesting brain to pick I don’t even remember what I said to her now back then because I was 75% asleep. But I think she likes me and we’re in a super fancy mastermind group. Boo-yeah!! By age 40, I imagine she’ll be on the cover of an Inc. issue about female entrepreneurs and I’m going to be very proud to tell people I knew her! :))))

Don’t forget the little people Oliviaaaaaa, someone (me) needs to help her seal her potato chip bags when she’s ruling the world.

Oh I ran into Pete from Do You Even Blog too. Of course, Pete’s industry genius has never been lost on me (remember the podcast Me and Ms. Frugal Asian did together with him?!) but now, I’m more or less 100% converted to taking Pete’s course because Olivia said it was good. If Olivia says it’s good then it’s probablyyyy really good – because she knows a crazy lot already! Can’t wait until the course opens back up.

Speaking of Olivia Recommendations, I spoke to her favorite bloggerrrr Early Retirement Now (ERN) over dinner. I’m terrible talking to smart people but but but it was kind of exciting to know we have similar FIRE plans in Washington state =)

Makes me feel like I know what the heck I’m doing…(when I don’t.)

Doc G from DiverseFI & David of Accidental FIRE

These thugs cornered me in a dark hallway and mugged me with hugs. That’s basically what happened from my PERFECT memory. I love these two so much!!!

It was like 5 pm on the second day when I met them…by then I was running on about 3 hours of sleep so…I was dead delirious. Doc G was so sweet and offered to shy light away from by putting a shirt on me while I was falling asleep on the roundtable. Talking to him was like…therapy I would actually pay $$ for.

Both spectacular humans to talk to but they give me too much credit. David teaches me a lot, believe it or not, his blog is informative and funny. I suspected he was a super intelligent guy before and couldn’t ya know it, he was. He was wearing Early Retirement t-shirts he designed himself. Design isn’t an easy thing, I remember talking to Susan from FI Ideas about her Twitter logo. I immediately recognized it because the colors and strokes registered with me.

The Index and Chill shirt would make an Xmas good gift for my brother in law and his new girlfriend baawaahahah.

Kevin from Financial Panther

Financial Panther made the entire FinCon trip worth it for me. I told Zach that it would be AMAZING if I could shrink Panther down and put him in my pocket so he could forever drive me. I *literally* *LITERALLY* have never…EVER met anyone like him. He’s like…I don’t even know…!!!

You know the law of physics where it says energy cannot be created, only exchanged?

Well, science hasn’t studied Financial Panther because this guy has BOUNDLESS energy. Loved talking to him, even if I was acting retarded and trying SO hard to impress him.

Loved him. Totally look up to him now.

(Unless he is on DRUGZ or something but I don’t think so)

I stalk his blog now…and you should too.

Zach from Four Pillar Freedom

Meeting him was SO funny. I was just coming out of an auditorium full of people and I see him standing in front of me. My eyes travel down to his name tag and it SAIIIID:

Zachary Powers

Four Pillar Freedom

I basically sucked all the air out of the room when I saw him being such a fan of his blog and all.

FYI, he’s a total BABEY. Babey = baby babe. Like a junior Jason Statham. He’s like 24…?? Or 17 or something…but SO smart and successful already. He has bigger plans in the works (don’t we all…overachievers). I was on the phone with my husband while I was talking to Olivia and Janet. We were all gossiping about Zach.

My husband thought it was so funny. He said, “Interesting, so this is what girls talk about in their spare time.” LOL!

Meeting Dr. McFrugal’s Clan

The most ADORABLE Family Award goes to the Dr. McFrugal Clan!!!

They’re overachievers because 1) they’re smart 2) they’re pretty 3) their baby is pretty 4) and their baby is smart.

I think there’s a certain feeling of privilege that being able to meet people like the McFrugal Clan because he is anonymous. If you check out his blog, all you’re getting is epic pictures of perfect decor, clean shots, and the back of his wife’s head!

I think bragging rights should be included in those who come to FinCon and can now put a face on the blog of the many of us who blog anon. It’s a really special feeling – they’re a very good “let’s go on a double family date” kind of family.

Ethiopian Food!!

Oh wait, LOL, I meant…Adam (MinaFI) recommended Ethiopian food hahaha. I didn’t meet a blogger named Ethiopian food.

Everybody needs to read about what happened to Adam!!! It’s like my hubby’s story.

He’s the guy heading our mastermind group too and UGH this dude is so sweet!!! He reminds me of my husband = intelligent, reserved, hardworking, and soft-spoken.

I cannot do wrong to thy Man who sat me on a long table with Ethiopian food and other people who loved money. Aaron from PF for Beginners and Michael from Financially Alert were also at the table on the last night of FinCon. We had our photo taken at the booth together :)!!

My stupid ass can’t recall half the table, I was focused on basically Ethiopian food + PF blogging DAYDREAM coming trueeeeee in one place (and encouraging Zach to navigate through his Ethiopian menu) — is this real life?? Or just fantasy?!

Elusive Cats

Oh my god, I didn’t have the chance/time to say pick their brains, wah wah wah!!!

Laurie from Three Year Experiment – We had to text AND email each other to find each other. I think I walked by and missed her until another blogger said “oh she just walked by” omg talk about elusive!! Meeting her was too brief because I had so many questions! Ugh!

OMG OMG got to meet this girl!! @TheFrugalGene Need to work on my surprise face! ??#Fincon18 #fincon #bloggercrush #xenialmillenial pic.twitter.com/S4AYlbO9I7

— ThreeYearExperiment (@LaurieThreeYear) September 29, 2018

Othala Fehu – I was pretty social-ed out on the third day of FinCon but I did meet Othala Fehu for a split second. He didn’t want to stay and chat though! 6 months ago, he sent me a Norwegian black metal song and I’ve been SUPER addicted to the entire album since.

I soooooooo wanted to thank him for recommending this song to me:

What do you guys think? I made my husband listen but he didn’t like it at all – “it’s super…depressing.”

He likes power metal but I like a few inches darker.

I also met Sunburnt Saver who was into metal music but we didn’t have enough time to pick each other’s brains :(!!!

P.S. Anytime someone is into personal finance + metal music  = we should chat. Haha!!

Think Save Retire – I saw Steve like 5x but he was busy talking to people or on his laptop so I didn’t go up to bother him. TOO SHY. Then I FINALLY caught his eye in the hallway but he had somewhere to go so we just said hi. >_< I forgot to…I don’t even know – just wanted to meet him is all.

ESI Money (John)

Ummmm, somehow my buddies Janet and Olivia met ESI like 5x times before I met him once. How unfair is that!!!!

I only saw him 2x during the entirety of FinCon – a 4-day event!! ESI is a straight up family man who has it all. He’s on Marketwatch every other day yet finds the time to CONVERSE with small shrimps like me. I believe ESI is high on the overachiever spectrum because even HIS GENES somehow figured out how to defy aging. He looks age 36 max when he should be gray and in his 50s.

I’m not joking, ask ANYONE who has met him. He’s like the Keanu Reeves of blogging, doesn’t age!!!

I also had the pleasure of running (well he snuck up on me hahaha) into Josh Overmyer for a little bit too before we went out to dinner.

Please don’t ask me why I have a picture of Physician on FIRE’s backside…

Like…I think I was working up the courage to ask him for a selfie with me (KIDS THESE DAYS) but that’s when he got up to ask Mr. Money Mustache a question during the closing debrief and…I don’t know but I ended up taking a photo of his shirt/pants instead. Good enough?

I swear it’s Physician of FIRE!!! Not some random guy… :\ I swear.

It was also really cool to hear Dave Ramsey’s daughter Rachel speak. I didn’t even know he had kids, much less professional speaking kids. I also met and spoke to J.D. Roth and snuck peeks at Wallet Hacks. Great guys, a hilarious presentation involving mostly….Taylor Swift.

Cool Cats

To be jolly and fair, there are exceptions to our overachiever crowd. I briefly encountered: J. Money (too chill to be chronic anything), Apathy Ends (he’s the Devil), Mad Fientist (yes, I sat and had dinner with THE Mad Fientist and his stunning wife, vomit out your jealousy now mortals :P), and of course Mr. Money Mustache. These guys are just too cool for school. These people are smart, cool, super bad-ass and they don’t care about anything which means they’re not going to read this because they’re drinking it up, jet skiing across Bali as we speak.

Mad FIentist

I actually had the final CFSI dinner sitting one over from Brandon and his wife!!! I didn’t even notice until he started talking about Edinburgh and my mental bell went *DING* I KNOW THAT STORY!!! They are both unbelievably down to earth and I was getting scared talking to them/being in close proximity.

I think total awe would have been a great way to describe it. I did gather the balls to ask why he posts so little….but it totally makes sense because…THE GUY’S RETIRED. He’s FI man!!!

Apathy Ends

OK, I don’t think he’s a chronic underachiever but he was definitely one at FinCon compare to me.

I kept asking him what seminar and workshop he was going to go to (because I wanted to hang out with him in a super gay way) but that bum just hung out by the hotel pool or chilling out in the hallway, skipping class. Even his baseball cap was on backward haha. Honestly, he does extremely well for a TOTAL slacker! You know Shaggy from Scooby Doo? He has a 10% likeness to Shaggy.

Mmmm actually…I’m thinking AE is more like Ferris Bueller.

Yes yes Bueller!! Because 3 out of the 4 times I ran into him, he was either ditching something and/or holding a beer.

MMM

The legend himself. I did not encounter MMM directly (but Mr. Accidental FIRE and Apathy Ends did. Go ask them how chill MMM was!!) I’m honestly glad I didn’t run into him because it would have been too much for me. I would gather up the balls to ask why he posts so little….but it totally makes sense because…THE GUY’S RETIRED. He’s FI man!!! x2

J. Money

He’s soooooooo sweet!! Awwwww, yes, of course, J$ would be haha. Yes, J. Money really does have a mohawk. He’s a lot skinnier and taller than I thought too! What a total sweetheart! Amy of Life Zemplified had to drag me over to say hi, but I’m so glad I did. We saw pictures of J. Money’s kids. The only word that comes to mind when I saw pics of his kids…VERY squishy. Hahahaha. Plump babies are the happiest babies and those are some lucky kids.

Is FinCon Worth It? 6 Things I Learned/Noticed

1. “Should I go to FinCon?”

Can you afford it? If yes then yes. What if you’re “too new?” EVEN HARDER YES.

I thought FinCon was for older, established bloggers to meet up and chug a beer but it’s probably a lotttttt more helpful for new bloggers. That to me was a surprise. If you’re an older blogger…still yes. Although I’m not that old of a blog (1.5 years) so I can’t tell you for sure past this point I would go personally though. When you are new and young, you have more blood and determination to flush out your clique. It’s scary to go up to senior / big-time bloggers but from what I’ve seen – FinCon has a lot more baby bloggers so you will find your clique, don’t worry about being new.

Focus more of what you want to do/get out of it than being new or old.

2. It was 4-days long in a barbell style.

The convention from start to finish was 4 days. I was in Orlando for 6 days because my scholarship event took time in advance to prepare and I wanted a day of rest beforehand…(which sadly I didn’t get thanks to flight delays and other mishaps.)

I don’t know why FinCon was spread out for 4-days but this year, they did it in a barbell style so it’s not just one monotone event. There are LOADS of things on the first day, less on the second, less on the third, and the LAST day was the best day with TONSSS of things.

My last day of FinCon was basically perfect. =) Perfect day for me!!! I met almost everyone I was supposed to meet (universe destined), ate Ethiopian food, had yummy convention dessert, had some funky photos done with Janet, got free shirts. Life is ever so gooooooooooooood to me!!!!!!!

The girls and I didn’t leave the convention until almost midnight and I was exhausted after essentially a 5-day marathon of socializing.

3. Workshops overlap.

OK, I didn’t like this one and I didn’t piece that together until I saw the schedule of the FinCon workshops for bloggers. (Apparently, FinCon 2018 has a mobile app with the schedule and speakers published.)

Anywhoo, let’s say if you wanted to go to 2 workshops but those workshops are booked for the same time slot…then you have to choose which one to go to. There are no repeats or reschedules, choose it or miss it. If you want to get it all, you have to get the virtual pass for $99 more.

If you don’t want to socialize or meet anyone at FinCon, just get the virtual pass. I don’t think people should buy a ticket, hotel, flights, rental car etc. to go to FinCon for the workshops. That’s a waste of money.

You should go to socialize and hang out with money nerds like yourself!! 

How taboo is the subject of money? Think about it? How often are you allowed to talk to everyone openly about $$$? Well, you can chat about it openly with the best at FinCon. Everyone is super friendly and open.

4. Bunk Up for Friends Not Just to Save $$

Saving money shouldn’t be more than 30% of your goal for your FinCon trip. It happens once a year and for just a few days…that means it’s special. The media market’s pros are here to help answer your questions after each workshop. You can make friends and weirdos like yourself from across the country too.

What’s most valuable on the table is the possibility of using FinCon to get more OUT of it, not the $$ you spend into it.

I’m not saying to not travel hack or bunk up. You should bunk and find a fellow attendee to bunk with but….not just because of the money $$ saved – more so because you get a buddy to go to the events with and plan out things together! I notice people tend to be more productive in groups because of the accountability buddy thing.

5. You don’t need a blog to attend FinCon!

This was such a random one! I thought everyone needed a blog in order to be allowed in…? I mean most of the attendees had blogs or worked for financial companies etc. I did meet one woman who didn’t have a blog and was simply a fan of the community going “ga-ga” over all the bloggers she followed.

6. It’s what YOU want to get out of it (x100)

Cannot stress this enough!! There’s no universal answer but some indicators. Did you want to grow as a writer? Drink up a lake of beer? (There wasn’t much drinking don’t worry!) Meet your heroes? Find a mentor? Watch the ever gorgeous Montana Money Adventures dance? (I saw her drunk dancing from 30 ft away and I laughed my head off omg!!)

Personally, that $1,239.50 is what I’m willing to pay to get into the mastermind group I’m in right now AND for meeting Financial Panther alone.

I couldn’t have been able to do those 2 things without going to FinCon sooooo…you have my answer.

I also had a mini chat session with ESI Money on the last day = sweetest, most mentor-sage-like-man ever!!!!

I got so much out of it but I’m not sure if that’s going to be the case for everyone? It depends on how social you are with this community in the first place and if you find your little clique. I found mine super quick. I ended up with lots of new friendships and finding FANTASTIC genius people with similar master plans.

That was freakin’ exciting. I almost spilled out of my seat talking to Babey Zachary about projects and the future. Financial Panther was amazing…I think I said that 20 times already but he is like…smart, down to earth, fun, exciting, whole package.

I got inspired by so many other amazing bloggers that I’ve only visited in the blog world. Then I met them in person and went…wow, this person IS AMAZINGGGGGG. How did I know?

I hope my new projects this year (working on it) go well so I can be there to see everyone in Washington D.C. in 2019. I would love a good deep dish pizza w/the PF crew :). Ohhh and to bunk at Ms. Frugal Asians house if luck has it in the cards for me. Finally, this time, bring my hubby along too since D.C. won’t be too hot for him!

Annnnnnd that’s it.