Paying more on utility bills is something a lot of people hate doing, especially electricity bills. Utility bills are one of those annoying sneaky bills that are easily forgotten but when it hits your inbox pesters you to pay up. Cost of electricity nationwide varies greatly usually by state. If you live in Hawaii or Rhode Island or California then you are paying the highest electricity rate in 2019.

The average household in America consumes almost 900 kilowatts (kWh) of electricity every month which means the average bills likely soars over $100 per month for electricity alone. Being proactive with electricity habits can save lots of money, not just monthly, but for the rest of your life. These 30 little changes in combination mean big savings throughout a lifetime.

Reduce Standby Power Consumption With Smart Strips.

Get smart power strips to turn off household electronics currently not in use. This allows you to reduce energy waste and reduces the amount you spend on energy. Once electronics switch to standby mode, the smart power strips turn them off instead of trickling electricity. Standby power consumption studies in Australia states that the average standby consumption for 2015 was 92.2 watts per household.

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Replace Air Filters Regularly.

For someone who wants to reduce the amount that he or she spends on electricity, it is important that you check your air filters regularly. Dirty filters make the HVAC system work a lot harder in moving air around. Dirty air filters consume extra energy to move the air around, which increases your electricity bill.

Get a filter that possesses a higher MERV rating, as it is more effective and reduces the possibility of you getting illnesses or allergies. According to the U.S. Department of Energy, a household can reduce AC consumption by as much as 15% if the air filters are replaced once a month.

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Be Mindful With Your Water Heaters.

A lot of consumers wonder how they keep paying a lot for electricity when the consumption is minimal. They forget about things that are set in and initially out of their control. It is important that you are watching your water heater and if you really need it on during summer days? Can you turn it off at night or while you’re away?

Getting a water heater insulation jacket, which in some regions is legally required, can help reduce your electricity bill. The US Department of Energy recommends setting tank-based water heater to 120 degrees Fahrenheit. This is because heating already hot water will only waste energy.

Another option if you are in the market for a new water heater (they average around $1000 to $3000) opt for a tankless heater. Tank-less water heaters avoid the heat losses associated compare to traditional water tanks.

Do keep your water heater above a 140F (according to the Canadian government) to prevent Legionnaires’ disease.

I know the name sounds Lord of the Rings cool but it’s really not and can be a serious bacteria that cause pneumonia.

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Do Your Laundry With Care.

Don’t use your washer or dryer every day. Leave a day each week for doing your laundry, enough for a full load. Once you feed the washer and dryer, put in a larger load of clothes all at once without overcrowding too much. It will go a long way in reducing how much you spend on electricity.

Unless under special circumstances, always wash your clothes in cold water. Hot water is way too overrated and wasteful for everyday use. It also potentially cause more damage to clothes.

Always check the pockets for coins and other objects too because they can damage the washer. In addition, cleaning the lint from the clothes dryer after every load will help you save on your electricity bill.

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Use LED or CFL Bulbs.

If you are still using incandescent lightbulbs, then you might want to reconsider changing and upgrading. Incandescent bulbs consume a lot of energy which increases energy consumption. What you should do is to get LED bulbs or CFL to reduce the energy you uses. CFL and LED bulbs require less energy to produce the same amount of light that incandescent bulbs are producing.

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Turn Off Lights.

Turning off ceiling fans and lights once you leave the room helps in reducing the amount you pay for your electricity bill. Leaving lights and other electronics on while is just draining energy and adding onto unnecessary spendings. Even with CFL lighting, the general rule of thumb is to leave the lights on if you leave your house for 10 minutes or less. Turn the lights off if you are leaving the house for more than 10 minutes.

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Use Adjustable Thermostats.

Adjusting the thermostat or smart thermostats (like NEST) helps to reduce spending unnecessary money keeping an empty apartment cool or warm. Leave your HVAC system off when you leave your house for the work day is a good idea. By adjusting the thermostat to 7 to 10 degrees from its normal setting for 8 hours per day, it will help in adding 10% on your estimated annual savings.

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Use a Cashback Card.

My husband and I use Citi Double Cash as a catch-all for bills majority of the time. Citi offers a 2% back on everything as long as you pay it off. According to Citi, all purchases you make earn cash back. There are no category restrictions when using Citi. Occasionally there are rotating categories on our other credit cards that land in utilities for 5% cashback so we naturally hop on that. There are many credit cards out there that let you choose one category every quarter so take advantage of it.

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Be Energy Smart in the Kitchen.

Instead of making use of the stove to cook or boil water for a quick meal or cup of tea, you should consider making use of your microwave instead. You can try cooking at night, switching to a toaster oven (instead of the oven stove). In the day time, try to switch off the heat/dry setting on the dishwasher. Cooking using microwave, toaster oven, or even a slow cooker can save as much as 80% energy when reheating small amount of food.

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Recommended Reads:

• 51 Healthy Frugal Dinner Recipes You Can Make for Under $2
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Use Trees To Cool Down.

When it gets to peak summer, we have to keep the air conditioner on so the house will not overheat and try us mad. We spend a lot on energy bill trying to cool down the temperature of the house. You can help reduce your energy bill by planting the trees to act as a shade for your house or backyard. This will save your A/C from doing a lot of work.

When we were buying our property, it never occurred to us how much a nice shady tree could save. Landscaping and planting trees aren’t only important for its aesthetic value. It can also be used for energy conservation by reducing the work your AC had to do using natural ways of cooling down the temperature.

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Don’t Use Heat Dry on Your Dishwasher.

This setting in your dishwasher is known to consume a lot of energy. Switching this feature off will help a lot in reducing energy consumption. According to Home Guides, air drying your dishes can save up to 15% of your total dishwasher’s energy use.

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Exploit Off-Peak Rates.

Some places and landlords are known to give their residents more affordable electricity rates in hours when people rarely use energy, especially at night. If your locality offers this, you can use that time to do your laundry, use the dishwater, and even cook. According to Save On Energy, this technique is even more useful during summer and winter when energy use increases due to extremely hot or extremely cold weather.

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Upgrade Energy Saving Devices.

If you are using devices that are more than ten years old, there is a great chance that they are not energy efficient. You should think of having them replaced. Opt for appliances that use lesser energy. The Energy Star program which is created by EPA regulates energy requirements in the majority of appliances. By using Energy Star certified products, it can help you save energy in the long run.

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Use Low-Flow Showerheads.

Instead of going for regular shower heads that may be cheaper at first, consider opting for low flow showerheads. Naturally, it saves on water but another part of the logic is needing less water to be heated which reduces your energy consumption. To maximize water efficiency, the US Department of Energy recommends using a showerhead with a flow rate of less than 2.5 gpm. Depending on the county or state, your local government may send you free low-flow showerheads or offer government rebates and subsidies for you to switch.

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Get More Blankets.

Instead of increasing your thermostat during the cold night to warm yourself, you should consider getting more blankets. This will save the money you spend on the electricity bill. In addition, if you live in a very cold climate, try a heated mattress pad or thermal blanket, it’s a more efficient and energy-saving way to warm up during the cold winter months compared to heating the entire bedroom continuously.

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• 30 Tried-and-True Hacks To Lower Your Electricity Bill

Clear Lint From Dryer.

Remove the lint from the dryer after each load. This ensures that the dryer is efficient in the long run. You can clean the lint with the soapy water. You should not forget to brush it regularly to wipe off any extra lint. Washing the trap also helps in controlling odors in your machine.

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Use Dryer Balls.

If you want to reduce the time that your clothes spend while drying, you should consider tossing dryer balls. You can save energy and energy by decreasing the usage time of your dryer. It causes a cut in energy used by up to 25%.

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Get a Tankless Water Heater.

If you are thinking of getting a new hot water heater, you should think of getting the tankless one. They help to reduce the amount of energy that the heater consumes by half. According to Petro, tankless water heaters are 22% more efficient than gas-fired, storage-tank models.

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Insulate Switches and Outlets.

Get electrical outlet sealers, and ensure that they are placed on every switch and outlet in the house. This is particularly an energy saver during winter days, as it reduces unwanted airflow inside the house. According to Conservation Mart, a household experiences 2-5% heat loss because of uninsulated outlets and switches.

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Get Storm Doors.

To prevent your house from losing energy a lot, you should consider installing them on every exterior door in your apartment. A storm door can reduce up to 50% of energy usage. However, it is discouraged to get glass storm doors if the exterior door gets direct sunlight several hours a day.

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Wipe Coils of Your Refrigerator.

I know this one is crazy, right? Once the coils in your refrigerator become dirty, they tend to do a lot more work trying to get your foods cool. It won’t be a bad idea to run regular maintenance on your refrigerator. HuffPost recommends using the vacuum’s hose attachment in order to get all the dust from the coils. You should also leave some space between the fridge and the wall so it doesn’t overheat.

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Utilize Residual Heat.

If you notice that your food is almost ready, turn the stove or oven off. With the heat that has built up already, it will get the job done. It is recommended to turn off the stove or oven 5-10 minutes before the end of cooking time.

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Get Motion Sensors.

Motion sensors would be a great investment. It helps to auto-turn on and off lights when you enter or leave a room. Motion sensors are also good property crime deterrents too. Using sensors may seem like it saves pennies – and you would be right – 15 pennies per month per light to be exact! Hey, you’ll be 15 cents per month richer until the end of time!

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Get Solar Lights For Outdoors.

Solar lights aren’t a bad idea to exploit the sun and use it to power your energy needs for outdoor. Solar lights get to absorb the energy from the sun, and it works even at night, without the sun. The US Department of Energy recommends this method as well, about 10% of the average home’s energy spendings go to lighting. Redirecting some load to the sun’s natural energy will save a considerable amount of energy.

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“That’s Interesting!“

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Get an Attic Fan.

Getting an attic fan helps to add cool air to your apartment and take out the hot air, without expending a lot of energy. It works better when the sun officially sets, since heat rises, the attic gets super hot. Get an attic fan, aim it near the window and you can feel the hot air blow out as it pulls in cooler air.

According to Constellation, attic fans help reduce cooling cost by the increased efficiency in air ventilation. What’s make this option more viable is that there are solar-powered attic fans available in the market.

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Close Curtains & Blackout Curtains.

It won’t be a bad idea to try to shield your apartment from the scorching sun by closing the blinds and curtains on those parts of your house that the sun is entering through. To save more energy, consider getting a tinted window film installed. During the warm weather, light-colored curtains reflect sunlight and make the house cooler.

There are also blackout curtains that are really good at keeping a room cool and dark. You shouldn’t be paying more than $20 for blackout curtains because I have not noted much quality difference between single panels that cost $5 vs $20 per panel (you need 2 panels usually.)

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Get Ceiling Fans.

Instead of relying solely on AC, you should consider opting for ceiling fans. The average cost of running a ceiling fan is about 1 penny per hour. These cheap fans can reduce the AC’s job by helping the AC cool the room.

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Line Dry Your Clothes.

Well, a lot of persons would frown at this because it will make them feel that they are on the set of a 1930s movie. If you are dedicated to reducing your energy consumption, you should try and allow the sun to dry your laundry itself. Erect a clothesline. Air drying your clothes can save up to 45 minutes of dryer usage.

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Run an Energy Audit.

A lot of utility companies are known to offer an audit free of charge to clients, to allow them to know what and what is consuming a lot of energy. If your utility company offers this, you should take it with both hands. If the firm doesn’t offer this, you should consider doing your own energy audit. This will allow you to know the aspect that energy consumption should be reduced. Preventing air leaks alone can save from 10% to 20% per year.

According to Michael of Financially Fit, you could potentially qualify for lower utility rates if you can prove you have a medical device.

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Get Dimmer Switches.

Saving energy is quite possible if you decide to opt for dimmer switches that allow you to make use of the light you need for ambiance. In addition, dimmer lights produce lesser heat, which in return, can help in cooling down during hot weather.

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Our brand of frugality is pretty typical (to a little extra strength) in the accumulation phase. My general belief is if you optimize and cultivated self-introspection so that your inner lives and inner mind are rich then whatever is on the outside matters less and less. I have always tried to pride myself on trying to be resilient and that’s because I cultivated within because my reality was bleak for a long time. If you grew up like me then you will understand that one of the “perks” of that is learning how to entertain yourself and developing a very rich inner life by closing your eyes.

The rainbow bridge of frugality varies a lot to different degrees. Our brand works for us but not for others, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Not everyone is going to understand saving or intentional frugality because a good sum of people grew up accustomed to the middle-class comfort and set that as a baseline.

Being foreign-born, I was put in a different reality. It kind of reminds me of that saying, “What is normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly.”

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Our Brand of Frugality

How we live our life is what I define as our brand of frugality, everyone has their own because everyone has their own comfort zone.

For us specifically,  you can check out all of our monthly budget expense and financial report here.

They say a penny saved is a penny earned, but so is a penny not spent. Then the other saying…” saving a dollar is worth more than a dollar earned.”

’cause eeek, TAXES! Especially if you’re higher on the income totem pole.

So I went back and did the rough AGI figures too which is about overall 25% for us. That represents the more realistic numbers I’m going to summarize. It is absolutely necessary to calculate the pre-tax number because…dude, there is no way anyone could fully escape the Tax Man.

Not sure if Slender Man is scarier or the Tax Man?

…well, one of them we know is definitely real so…

~

Moving onto the numbers, I went fairly conservative with my figures. I’m thinking of a good to fair case scenario using the national averages of what I can find.

Notice the first 3 highest and most flexible expenses are housing, transportation, and food. We are going to do the top down budget route!

Highest expenses first and smaller expenses for dessert, now let’s start hacking!

Housing

Our mortgage, home insurance, and extra utilities come in at about $25,000 a year. Since we host on Airbnb full-time that means we technically live for free and earn some extra money along the way too. Because we make a surplus on Airbnb from just long-term rentals, conservatively we are making more profit and covering more than mortgage etc. Like about $34,000 is the projection. That’s the most likely estimate I’m getting this year so far. But let’s just use $23,000 for simplicity sake and work from there. As a business owner with tax perks but also more taxes because I’m covering for my own FICA, SSI etc. It gets confusing fast.

It’s not all about the money, of course, we met some really cool people who love animals and Grace (our fearful dog) is much better with people now than being scared to death of them before from her crappy puppyhood.

One lovely multi-level house in picturesque Seattle pimped out to some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met from all around this blue planet:

Amount Saved = $23,000
Amount Needed to Earn = $28,750

? Related Reads:

• The Hefty Financials Costs Behind Owning a McMansion
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Transportation

We don’t own a car.

My husband gets free public transit subsidies from his employer so it currently cost him zero dollars to go to work. He doesn’t have to sit in rush hour traffic and instead he’s using that time to read about the FX market or taking a nap.

There are 2 rental car companies within a 15-minute walk from our house which gives us ample wiggle room to choose from when we do need a car for a day trip. We pay a one-time $50 fee when we need it once a month. Everything else we need is nearby within walkable distance.

Every time I tell strangers that most people think it’s because we’re ultimately broke.

Pffft hahaha, hiding ‘broke’ in America is probably the easiest thing to do right now. People don’t see how damn cheap credit is these days. I’ve consistently wondered how banks keep giving people credit so irresponsibly.

No sweat off me, I’m not anyone’s financial fairy godmother.

I digress, I’ve done the car math ten times over. Too bad not enough people do! If we get a car “justifiable” to our income then we can get an electric car like Tesla for $90,000 that is cheaper to run and lower maintenance too.

But then there is also Washington’s high auto tax for luxury purchases like Tesla. Property and auto tax is pretty high in Washington because we don’t have state tax so our property and auto make up for it.

OH, then there’s parking!! Parking space is essentially an empty space of ground with 2 adjacent verticle lines…it’s highly coveted for off-shooting reasons. Finding parking close by work is preferred because it’s safer from the break-ins that are becoming more common as you move away from clustered parking centers. That comes with an optional price tag of about $200 a month.

Then there’s the question if I needed a car myself too…is it fair that hubby gets one and I’m sitting at home with nothing but all the liabilities of pets and an elderly person? What if there was a medical emergency with my dog or my dad?

But let’s say we’re frugal even when it comes to cars and buy just one used second-hand car. Include the purchase cost of a single, used, cheap, smaller sedan gasoline car in Seattle will cost us $600+ a month for 60 months going fair on the maintenance factor, not too $$$ car, and getting the cheap gas at Costco.

The scenario of one single cheap used car with a $200 monthly parking permit and lukewarm insurance bundled with the home because that’s how they like to sell to the masses:

Amount Saved = $9,600
Amount Needed to Earn = $12,000

Recommended Reads:

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Food

Hahaha, work in progress. Dining out is not something I’m uber frugal about when I know it’s possible to live off $300 and not dine out very much if at all. Groceries we have nailed under $200 but that’s because we have a biggggg budget for dining out.

Unlike many other things, I can understand how to rack up $1,000 in monthly dining out. We’ve probably done it before in our Pre-FIRE days. Sushi $65, three times a week and some pho here and chicken fried steak there…and poof the budgets gone.

If we were instructed to spend without revealing any price tags attached, trust you and me, I can pig out to double that very easily if you just let me unhinge my jaws.

Our dining out bill averages $350 a month which is not super frugal. We can make an effort to NOT dine out at all (ie. that month we lived on $300) except we don’t because it’s not worth it. The redeemable thing is we are financially sound.

I’ve made that decision before and I still stand by it fully understanding this: food is probably the biggest expense with zero possibility for future returns.

If you splurged on a nice big house in an expensive neighborhood, at least home prices pace up equally which means you’re getting some of your money back especially you owned it long enough.

If you let me free range dine out, the only thing I can turn that money into a trip is a trip to the bathroom

(Fun fact, my friend Soapy and I held a chicken nugget competitive eating contest last year in front of some of her friends. We each purchased 120 nuggets each and I ate about 60 to 70 nuggets. I don’t remember her count but I naturally killed her. Even her mom told her to never doubt a skinny bitch when it comes to eating a conspicuous amount of food.)

My guilty-food wish is to spend $1,000 a month on eating out someday. Maybe in the richest phrases of fat fire… In August, we spend about $350 on dining out so we’re “saving” $650.

I do feel a little bad about that…that’s me with self-control frugal brothers and sisters. Our grocery bill was under $200 because it was all spent on dining out haha.

I maintain eating out as the hobby…I wonder if I can talk my husband into setting tacos into entertainment…

Frugally I’m trying, seriously this is me trying, this could get a lot worse, don’t even doubt me for one single second I can eat circles around your humanly fragile appetites:

Amount Saved = $7,800
Amount Needed to Earn = $9,750

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Entertainment

Aha! My entire life prepared me for a low budget in finding the best frugal entertainment. All of my fun is going to thrift stores (hey big spender, NOT!)

After a lifetime of no money, you find very odd, unconventional obsessions…is what I’ve come to notice hah.

The average American family entertainment budget is $2,482 annually which is about $200 a month. I’m surprised it’s not more…the cable packages are pretty pricey at $100 per month for my in-law family, as I recall.

We came through with a lot of entertainment surpluses last year. In total, we spent $837 for 2017’s budgeted annual compared to an average American family at $2,482. That means we retained a $1,645 savings.

(P.S. Download Google opinion rewards so your survey credits can apply to buy whatever you want in the Google Play Store for free. That’s how we get shows, movies, books, and audiobooks in addition to the local library we use.)

If you have an odd personality, you don’t need to seek the outside world for entertainment because you KNOW you’re a true freak and not much the normies do interests you AMEN

Amount Saved = $1,645
Amount Needed to Earn = $2,056

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Connectivity

Dealing with just internet and phone here. Targeting the smaller size expenses now might not be as worth it as the big three above (food, house, transportation) but it’s about being selective with what matters for the least effort. 

My husband work often enough that he qualified have a huge portion of our $60 monthly home Internet bill waived. For simplicity, we just consider it paid for. His phone and plan are provided by work if he promises to use it for work (which he does.)

We ignored switching our phone plan out of laziness and only started last month on a lower plan.

The normal individual’s cell phone bill is $71 per month which jumped from 2009 averages. I was paying $35 for my plan which I thought was good…nope. I ignored switching our phone plan out of laziness and only started last month on a lower plan. Going forward my plan will be ⅓ of my AT&T charge with Red Pocket. Overall, it is a $20 dollar per month savings, every month going forward from now on.

For us, it’s $60 (internet) + $20 (phone) = $80 x (12 months) saved annually.

You pray and pray and pray and pray and pray for Google Fiber to come to your stupid freaking city but nooooo, Comcast and AT&T is a monopoly and we will never be freed from their greedy clutches.

Amount Saved = $960
Amount Needed to Earn = $1,200

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Personal Care + Apparel

According to the 2016 BLS results, American households spend $1,803 on apparel and $707 on other misc personal products which both total $2,510 annually.

Our personal care budget in 2017 totaled only $425 for the entire year which means we spent approximately $2,085 LESS compared to the average American household.

Fairly often, our personal care budget has come in a $0. Last month in August, our personal care budget was -$8 because I ended up returning a pair of shoes to a department store.

We choose to forgo new clothes and instead opted in for heavily discounted ThredUP and thrift store clothing. Go the home haircut route for all 3 of us and just spending time researching how to cut a style properly. Doing our own manicures…if you recall that I give my husband manicures because he likes them haha.

In terms of a gym membership, my husband uses the free gym amenities at work three times a week. I walk and dance every single day, sometimes I work out up to 3 hours which totals about 20 to 25 hours a week I’m on my feet. It’s all YouTube sponsored content and besides the huge toll I’ve done to my worn down carpets from all the friction, it’s been all for free.

Being low-maintenance and pretty hot looking people by default is frugal because we don’t have that much ugly we have to hide (OH right, Internet, this is sarcasm!!!)

Amount Saved = $2,085
Amount Needed to Earn = $2,606

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Health Care, Home Maintenance, Vacations, Vices, Pets, Utilities, Miscellaneous.

Uhhhhhh. Hm…well. Nearly every light bulb in our home is energy efficient. We have double paned windows. Our appliances are energy star efficient…blehhh nelly, OK, way too difficult to quantify what the amount we are saving here is…so let’s just brush ALL this off out of laziness.

I know we’re much much under the average for vacations, pets, vices and miscellaneous. Way, way under the average for our income level that’s for sure but useless without a solid benchmark.

*Healthcare…I have no clue. We have a good plan and hubby’s employer pays the lion share (woo~) but it’s a crapshoot to compare something like network, coverage, and copays.

*Home maintenance…uh, dude we try when we can but I don’t foresee my husband redoing our entire 3rd story roof anytime soon. I don’t think we’re super duper cost saving here when it comes to water heaters and the big scary things…so this is a wash.

*Vacation in 2017 for us was $1,035 while for the average American household spent anywhere between $1,457 to $4,000+ depending on size and where they went. We’re shaving a fat chunk off :).

*Pets…we might come very slightly under the average so it’s still a wash. Average single dog ownership is $1,500 for the first year…it was under $1,000 for us in our first year – including having Grace professionally trained by police. Then $500 is the average cost for the subsequent dog years…for us 2017 was $493 for Grace and my pet rabbit so we’re very slightly under. Still a wash.

Then there are the miscellaneous expenses…that’s a total crapshoot too for most Americans. For us, we track EVERY SINGLE PENNY and rarely use cash, so our misc are never crazy. I say we’re shaving at least $1,000 off here but no solid benchmark to put it against

The numbers of $$$ “saved” is already big enough for me to settle how much our brand of frugality can pinch even without any of these other ugly “math-y” expenses above so let’s just label it as all a wash.

 Related Reads:

• 3 Signs When Being Frugal Doesn’t Work & What To Do About It
• Why Rich People Penny Pinch When They Don’t Have To?
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Summary + Results

So we’re saving $45,090+ a year in expenses by living our Brand of Frugality. In order for us to save that $45,090 net, we would need to bring in over $56,000 income because of the taxman.

Which is interesting because…

Category	Net	Gross
Housing	$23,000	$28,750
Transportation	$9,600	$12,000
Food	$7,800	$9,750
Entertainment	$1,645	$2,056
Connectivity	$960	$1,200
Personal Care	$2,085	$2,606
Health Care, Vacations, Vices, Pets, Utilities, Miscellaneous.	N/A	N/A	Too messy to quantify so N/A but probably $3,000 more shaved off.
Total Saved	$45,090+	$56,362+	Dude that's the MEDIAN U.S. income!!!

It’s interesting…because the overarching median household income in the United States is $56,516. That’s someone’s entire annual paycheck that we’re knocking not very far from.

HAHAHAHAHHAAH coincidence?! I love it.

It’s like we added another whole income stream by doing very little when that’s someone’s entire 9 to 5 annual salary.

What we do is what not many people can do and the majority of people don’t have the discipline or forethought to do. I’ll just point to them what was conserved, increased, sacrificed, and how we have structured our lives to streamlined financial independence to come quite a few years earlier.

[Ends post on maniacal laughter]

~

I codenamed my pet ideas “M” and “A” for each respectively. I have been unable to retain as much time socializing with fellow bloggers or writing while working out these pet ideas. Thankfully traffic stats appear to be holding steady and no one hates me yet  Just wanted to give a heads up on time, I’m still here with tons of stuff to write and the Hippo family isn’t going anywhere. Just need to figure out the groove of things.

“That’s Interesting!“

• Panhandling: How Much Money Do Panhandlers REALLY Make?
• How To Make Money As An Instagram Influencer (Internet Fame That Pays?)
• 39 People Who Got Richer AFTER Quitting Their Day Jobs
• Can Being a “Friend-For-Rent” Really Make Extra Money?

What The Hell is ‘Deep Life?’

I don’t know. I just made that phrase up. ?

Basicallyyy, it’s self-actualization. It’s the hard question you ask yourself – after you reach financial independence.

It’s kind of along the lines of what the meaning of life is, what reality is, what is time blah blah blah.

This deep life question only comes under circumstances of a lot of freedom, self-exploration and enough to be financially safe (financial independence).

These caveats narrow the pool of candidates a lot.

Most people who feel like they’re missing that purpose can’t start or stop to think about it. Therefore most don’t get that opportunity of a solution because there are so many distractions.

There is the mortgage to pay, the bills to balance, the kids to pick up from school, dinner to make etc.

As a result, you end up with a bunch of people listing this as their #1 deathbed regret:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” (Business Insider)

Formatting

The basis of human-centric design follows 5 phrases which are Need, Observation, Idea Generation (Solution) and Testing. We as humans use it for every single novel problem encountered. I organized my train of thoughts in this respect to map out what I went through to discover my meaning.

The other example I went by is…classic Maslow!

If you are missing meaning or feeling empty while most of your basics for Maslow’s hierarchy is being met then you might be going through something similar to what I have been experiencing for several years which is esteem needs and self-actualization.

Talk about creative thinking…imagine the mental somersault I had to do as a regular 27-year-old immigrant (not high on anything or special in any way) to figure this out. Deep life is everything on that tippy top pyramid and if unexplored then the only other thing left is regret.

 Related Reads:

• 4 Profound Things I Wish I Knew Before Growing Up
• Effective But Semi Illegal Ways To Pay Off Student Loans
• Top 5 Financial Mistakes I’ve Made In My Early 20s

NEED

The Cause

After my husband and I crossed over the liquid $1 million net worth mark – which coincided around my 27th birthday – I’ve been more serious about deeper life goals. I had to think about it because on the base level, we are now financially independent

(Hooray…)

What should be driving us now should be a higher calling or aim. You can even track my mental journey with my post from last year where I struggled with this topic, among other emotions.

We got away with some serious luck and hard work. Top that with a generally laid-back, uncaring attitude regarding social situations, external experiences or material goods…you get oddballs like us who has no solid plans after being freed.

OBSERVATION

The Process

So I had to dig deep. I had to dig deep for a year and it was a flipping crazy year of back and fro. I did not show it on the blog but all of 2017, I basically cried Soapy’s ears off about what I should do with life (or thought was what I wanted in life.)

To a person worried about her next meal and paycheck, I bet I came off very annoying. Not relatable at all. When Maslow’s most basic hierarchy of needs (food & shelter) is not covered, everything else is a minor misdemeanor.

This in return drove even heavier feelings of concern that I may never find something that will give me self-actualization.

Then one day someone (Amy of LifeZemplified) said to me, “a lot of people should just push instead of pull” and this giant lightbulb went off in my head. So begins the period of simply observing myself and not where I should be or could be. Nothing about my past or regrets and nothing about my future or blessings.

I suppose a backpacking trip through Europe would have flushed that out too, like so many of my college professors told me they did and so many of my peers after graduation did. Back then I did not have that privilege so I started finding work right away thinking they were a bunch of hippies.

(I honestly thought that hahaha. Buncha hippies!)

Well, they might have had a point. I don’t think you need to trek through Europe or Tibet though.

I had volumes of data of what made me tick, I just needed a spark and accept who I am. Work with the grain, not against it.

I used that data about myself and flushed out my pet projects “M” & “A” after a little over a year of mulling over things.

These are deeper life projects because it came after Financial Independence (“autonomy”) AND it’s driven by the human need for “mastery” and “purpose.“

The Block

I was pulling and pulling and pulling…and wrecking every brain cell to find some meaning before we became financially independent.

Funnily, they were sitting in front of me all along. These few lifelong obsessions that I considered as a “quirks” now turned itself into something more. Someone out there is probably thinking, well duh – how did you not see it?

But I was really really really really really really blindsided. I was pulling and pulling and pulling when I should have just pushed.

One of these quirks made me weird and…well, I never saw it as a potential gift.

The rest of the quirks were so far out of reach that I did not entertain them as avenues until I realized everything was more in-reach then I thought…especially if you’re financially independent before age 30.

That’s a really young leg up!

I grew up poor so…if you’re telling me dreams are now affordable at age 27…woooo baby, that’s something I’ve never heard of before simply from a mentality point of view.

Related Reads:

• Debt and Suicide – Why I’m Proud To Be A Grown-Up Tattletale
• The 11 Perks of Growing Up Poor

IDEA GENERATION

The Steps

(Also, notice all Fs are selfish and I’m more than fine with that.)

Self-actualization is described simply as…

“the psychological process aimed at maximizing the use of a person’s abilities and resources. This process may vary from one person to another” (Couture et al., 2007).

So self-actualization can be thought of as the full realization of a person’s creative, intellectual, or social ability. It is done by leveraging ability with potential and opportunity. The process is super personal and everyone differs.

The whole puzzle took about a year. I was not actively boiling in it for a year. I was simmering, I still had a full life to live. But these were the things that kept me up late at night. The whole process of building to a real million happened so quick that it blindsided me a bit. It’s not a complaint – just a warning to the rest of you with $100,000 or more in net worth. It goes fast from there!

The Fit

Now I have to be strategic when choosing to go forward. I have to be careful because even if money and time are now flexible, people and things around me are not.

The fit tripped me up for a few months during my “proto-typing phrase” because I miscalculated the market and misunderstood myself again. I went back to pushing against myself for a while and I was sidetracked by at least 4 to 10 ill-thought out crackpot plots, confusing my husband even further.

(Soap stopped listening to my rants a long time ago, aha.)

 Relevant Reads:

• Frugality Is a Lifestyle That You Might Be Doing Wrong
• Facebook Bragging Can Be Annoying – And Ruin Your Finances Too
• Download Our Free Google Budget Sheet ?

PROTO-TYPING

Thinking through it, Projects “M” and “A” covered all the foundation I needed for mastery, purpose and autonomy.

Project “A” is especially important. It’s still brewing for a reboot whereas “M” is being professionally designed.

I actually started “A” when I was in college, scrapped it after I hit my first wall and was banned from…well the mainstream Internet. Restarted “A”…3 years ago independently. Scrapped it in a week again because I felt ill-prepared. Now today-today, I’m regretting every moment I was ambient and shy about what made me tick.

What seemed impossible at the time would be now very possible had I persisted. Success is a hard word for this genre so I can only say hobby. Now I have to restart “A” from nothing, which is fine. I went to my deathbed and “A” was one sure thing and my longest obsession.

TESTING

Project “M” or “A” will either kick me back into proto-typing or it will move me forward towards mastery.

(Remember how all of this is a response to being financially independent? It’s disturbing that having meaning and legacy bothers no one else that I know personally…I can’t be the only weirdo…)

The basics of what I am pursuing makes a lot of sense in the grand scheme of my life, even if “M” and “A” doesn’t work out, I can say I explored that avenue because the basics of both go back to the same Fs above. I just have to keep working at it. It’s not only about project “M” and “A.”

You only have to dig deep and let yourself find enjoyment in the things that I bet you already know you want to do – “easy” (harder than sounds..) and simple as that!

Mine is only complicated because I just feel like I have a mission to do, a discussion to clear up, and a story to tell. Otherwise, I’m just going to have a chill and happy life like I am now – doing whatever else I want to do involving ‘purpose’ (Project A) and ‘mastery’ (Project M).

Conclusion

I know I meander but the discussion is not about what Project M or A is at all. Too excited so I gushed hahaha.

I’m just making a point. The point is to feel enlightenment in accepting who you are, what you are here to do, everything that makes you unique, and finding that something that drives you – as odd or impossible – someone out there might just share it and thank you.

Make meaning a reason for saving more and reaching FI/RE. Too little people actually make it to the top of Maslow’s pyramid.

I invented the phrase #deeplife because I had the luxury of self-exploration to understand what I wanted it to do with this one life that I got. We have already achieved financial independence so the only question is finding meaning…and I’ve found my meaning staring at me in the face.

It’s not going to be shared…this is on the Internet for godsakes. But if I don’t end up with a Wikipedia article or tell-all by the time I’m 60-something years old or on the deathbed then I will be slight, teeny tiny bit disappointed…not gonna lie.

The 11 Perks of Growing Up Poor

How Hubby Made His Money & Became Rich

How To Afford $800 Shoes When You’re $100k in Debt

11 Punchable Financial Crimes According to Me

Why Rich People Penny Pinch When They Don’t Have To?

Everything ‘Married…With Children’ Did That Kept Them Poor

What Is The Real Cost of Raising a Kid If Done Frugally?

When Having Too Much Money is Bad

Debt and Depression – Why I’m Proud To Be A Grown Up Tattletale

At What Age Does Being Broke Stop Being Cute?

Top 14 Reasons Why Some People Don’t Save Money

My Scary ER Trip Was The Best Christmas Gift I’ve Ever Got

Money Basics

Wanna See How Rich You’ll Become? Do The Math! (Written for Dummies like Me!)

Why You Still Need An Emergency Fund While In Debt

4 Practical Budgets For People Bad With Money

9 Money Mistakes To Avoid For Debt-Free Living

Unstable Income? 4 Kick-Ass Tips To Stick To Your Budget

Reverse Budgeting VS Traditional Budgeting

Reducing Big Expenses VS Small Expenses

Tips for Battling High-Interest Debt and Other Debt that Won’t Go Away

How To Effectively Overcome Credit Card Addiction

Is Budgeting Depressing? Then You Should Read This

Don’t (Nicolas) Cage Yourself In Financially

Everything ‘Married…With Children’ Did That Kept Them Poor

Frugality

How Much Money Does Our Brand of Frugality Save? (Spoiler: $56,000+/Year)

3 Signs When Being Frugal Doesn’t Work & What To Do About It

Frugality Is a Lifestyle That You Might Be Doing Wrong

How We Saved $ With a Money Jar! And What We Did With Spare Change

8 Frugal Reasons to Own Two Phones

11+ Companies Offering Free (or Seriously Discounted) Internet At Home

10 DIYs For The Most Common Insect & Pest Infestation (On The Cheap)

– Clothing

1st Goody Box ThredUP Review

2nd Goody Box ThredUP Review ?

Our Bi-Annual Clothing Expense Check-In 2018

What Is Thrifting? It’s An Addiction!

I Hate My Clothes (& What I’m Going To Do About It)

– Food

I Took The 30 Day No Spend Challenge & This Is What I Learned

21 Cheap Pantry Staples List on a Limited Budget

RECIPE: Cheap & Free, Try This Asian Pho Side Dish!

What’s In The Fridge? Our Discount Grocery Haul 

Everything You Need To Know About Those Grocery Monopoly Games

4 Unique Ways to Save Big Money on Your Groceries

23 Inexpensive Diet Tricks To Shed Those Vanity Pounds

– Housing

30 Tried-and-True Hacks To Lower Your Electricity Bill

The Confessions of a Houseporn Addict

How Soapy is Geoarbitraging in China

The Financials Behind Owning a McMansion

Re-Keying Locks? Caulking & Refinishing Tubs? – DIY or Pro? – Part 2

Bad Plumbing? Slow Drainage? Ant Invasion? Should You DIY?

40 Secondhand Things We Use Every Day At Home

– Living Car Free

5 Big Reasons Why We Choose to Live Without a Car

Pros & More Pros of Self-Driving Cars

The 4 Main Benefits of Car-Free Living

14 Public Bus Safety Tips From a Lifetime Expert

Extra Income

16 Part-Time Jobs with Good Health Insurance and Benefits

Make Money on Rover With These 15 Pet Sitting Tips

Why We Sold Our Airbnb Rental Property

6 Biggest Reasons Why Airbnb Is So Popular

Answer These 25 Questions Before Hosting on Airbnb

10 Amazing Benefits of Being a Host on Airbnb (Besides Money)

12 Surprising Things Airbnb Guests Love And Hate

How To Host Airbnb – Introductory Q&A – Part 1

How To Host Airbnb – Q&A: Hosting on Airbnb – Part 2

Life & Retiring Early

What The Hell Are Deep Life Goals?

I Got 20,000 Days Until I’m Dead

What Fatty Fatty Fat FatFIRE Looks Like To Me

13 Sensible Upper Middle-Class Characteristics

4 Basic Investor Personality Types – Which One Are You?

Would You Survive a Financial Depression?

Making Our Epileptic Rainbow Unicorn Themed Financial Map

What Financial Health Means to Me

Learn How To Comparison Shop for Happiness

Why You Should Find Meaning Before You Find Wealth

Controversial & Epic Rants

Poking Fun of Deathbed Regrets While Having No Plan to Repeat Any

Why I Don’t Think Cheating on Homework Is Wrong

How It Feels To Resent Someone For Being Spoiled

Being Frugal is Easier When You’re Young & Healthy

The Quickest, Surefire Way to Be an Effective Personal Finance Blogger

Is Not Having Financial Literacy An Excuse For Being Broke?

Why Discussions On Race, Class, Income, Privilege & Stuff Can Be Dumb

What I Learned About Clutter and Stress While Living With In-Laws

Why ‘The Millionaire Next Door’ is a Myth to Most Millennials

The Dying Middle Class: “Two American Families” (PBS Frontline Documentary)

Facebook Bragging Can Be Annoying & It Could Ruin Your Finances Too

Marriage & Relationships

Should You Accept Money From In-Laws?

Dealing With Rain Drop Guilt

14 Inexpensive Alternatives to Wedding Rings For Rebels

My Husband “Bakes The Cakes” and I “Make The Steaks”

7 Long-Term Bonding Things We Do As Newlyweds (To Ward Off Divorce)

The Gray Area of Making Financial Decisions In a Marriage

How We Spent Our Valentine’s Date – As Anti Valentine’s Day People

100 Free & Frugal Things to Do on Valentine’s Day

Our Marriage Audit – Do We Fight Too Much?

The Marriage Fight That Made Me a Better Wife

Ahem, Costs of Sperm Banking, Yes We’re Going There…

17 Sure Signs You Can Loan a Friend Money

Young Adult

7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Feel Embarrassed To Attend Community College

8 Money Tips For College Seniors That I Wish Someone Told Me

15 Money Things Young Adults Overlook That Matter

How I Paid Off $20,000 In Student Loans Working Part-Time

Effective But Semi Illegal Ways To Pay Off Student Loans

4 Profound Things I Wish I Knew Before Growing Up

“What Am I Doing With My Life? I Need Help With My Life.”

Top 5 Financial Mistakes I’ve Made In My Early 20s

Free Downloads

Google Budget Download | Version 2

This post was written in aggravation at 3 AM by yours truly.

There are barrels of good people out there under a mountain of usurious debt north of six figures. You could argue until the cattle turn into jerky whose fault it is at the core for anyone north of negative six figures to get themselves into that situation.

For me, predatory student lending practices would be my first tick off the row of boxes given. Then you have the medical emergencies, family tragedies, personal struggles, surprise unemployment, and using once so often credit cards to make sure ends meet. These are real-life reasons.

Buuut, occasionally, you come across the special category of not-so-sympathetic ”frivolous” spending that makes it hard not questioning what it is that they’re actually thinking. I personally don’t know anyone who has shopped themselves into a negative six figures (thank goodness) but one beautiful fool who comes magically close to defying all money logic.

This moonchild goes by Soapy.

~

“That’s Interesting!“

• Panhandling: How Much Money Do Panhandlers REALLY Make?
• How To Make Money As An Instagram Influencer (Internet Fame That Pays?)
• 39 People Who Got Richer AFTER Quitting Their Day Jobs
• Can Being a “Friend-For-Rent” Really Make Extra Money?

For those of you who are new here, here is a synopsis of my friend, Soap. She is one of the many colorful characters I’ve noted in my life.

I added this portion so no one is missing a piece of the puzzle:

Soap is one of my best friends. She is also the daughter of a very affluent, multi-millionaire family. She grew up in Salt Lake City. Her childhood was what one would call pure opulence and she had many privileges most people can only dream of.

(Think Crazy Rich Asians…)

Her sister is married to the wayward son of a Chinese billionaire and Soap herself…well, she is in her 30s with a drinking problem. She has terrible health and cannot hold down a stable job. At age 30, she started with $80,000 in refinanced consumer and medical debt and some unpaid taxes as well.

Although her parents can easily wipe the debt away, they think it would be better for Soaps to learn how to manage her own finances by learning to live frugally and focusing on her career and education. Both of Soap’s parents fall under what you call, the sensible rich.

Soapy’s parents immigrated to the United States from China in the 1970s. They’re open-minded and highly educated (in contrast to my own immigrant parents). They educated themselves, worked very hard, and became successful engineers and then entrepreneurs within two decades. Now they want to pass on their successful international trading business but to no heir.

Soap was the only heir of choice but she repeatedly declined to learn her family’s business. Now her parents have stopped asking. To Soaps, her parental life work has no appeal what-so-ever. It is not how she wants to live her life, even at the guarantee of wealth.

Read the complete set of Soapy’s Odessey:

• 21 Frugal Pantry Staples List on a Limited Budget
• Practical Budgets For People Bad With Money
• How To Effectively Overcome Credit Card Addiction
• 3 Signs When Frugality Isn’t Worth It & What To Do
• Why You Still Need An Emergency Fund While In Debt
• How Soapy is Geoarbitraging in China
• What Am I Doing With My Life? I Need Help With My Life.
• How It Feels To Resent Someone For Being Spoiled

~

The Update

Her cell phone service was shut off. The phone company won’t let her get a new phone number until she pays for the old balance and pay for a new phone line to be opened. It will cost $400 from start to finish.

Not having a phone and job searching is obviously a no-go. You need a working phone to look for any job.

But not all of our conversation is surrounded by money or job. She hates talking about it and I don’t want to be a stick in the mud.

Financial responsibility is for those ready to receive it.

We talk more about dreams, food, family, relationships, work, miscellaneous dumb things, and girly stuff — this time, I was chatting about shoes. Just…you know…normal girl talk. 

I didn’t want to make her depressed so any talk not on the subject of money is a better one.

I guess I accidentally pulled her into a safe spot with a mention of sneakers because…she told me about her $800 shoe purchase last month that I was NOT aware of before. 

I guess she didn’t feel like telling me because…well, you can imagine, I would be angry. I guess she treats me like her mother too, hiding bad money and new debts.

“I agree it’s overpriced but I still got it.”

Yeah, but what in the world did you get an $800 one for? What’s wrong with $50 shoes? This is a sickness. It’s sick!

These are “Yeezys” below. (Yeezy = a very overpriced clothing brand by rapper Kanye West. It’s hard to tell if these Yeezys were new, used, or barfed in with the naked human eye.)

We always talk late and I, once again, put the phone down and decided to just not speak to her for the rest of the night until I calmed down. I had to physically SEPARATE myself from my phone in a thwarted attempt not to scream INTO it with my husband sound asleep next to me.

 Recommended Reads:

• The Rent Is Too Damn High! – A Guide To Living In Your Car

Punchable Offense

Honestly, the purchased item in question doesn’t really matter. People have and will continue to blow money on silly crap, that’s not news. I just never known an otherwise intelligent human to be THIS self-destructive. It’s shocking to me.

If you are following along with the saga that is Soap, you may know she owes a bunch of financial sources and friends (myself included) a few thousand dollars that she has not paid back.

It also reminded me of my list of punchable financial offenses. If she told me she bought $800 shoes in real life, I would have slapped her.

I’m not grumpy at this point over a few thousand dollars. If she could be more responsible with her money and cut back, she wouldn’t have money issues.

She was living on cereal for 2 weeks because she told me she ran out of money.

I assumed she ran out of funds…not that she ran out of funds because she spent it on $800 shoes.

By the way, she wanted everybody on this blog who are broke to know how economical and “frugal” it is to live on cereal because a big box of sugar “can last surprisingly long”…

(P.S. her definition of frugal is so wrong. It’s what the common masses THINK frugality is: living in misery because you’re poor. SO FREAKIN’ WRONG I CAN’T EVEN UGH!)

 Related Reads:

• How Much Money Does Our Frugality Save? (Spoiler: $56,000+/Year)
• Eat Ugly, Save Money? Imperfect Produce Review (+ FREE COUPON)
• Everything ‘Married…With Children’ Did That Kept Them Poor

But Not Bankruptcy

Don’t think badly of Soaps. She doesn’t want personal bankruptcy even…though at this point…even I think that’s the only choice left.

Initially, I assumed it’s because her mom is a cosigner for her major debts. With her parent’s wealth and assets, there is no such thing as bankruptcy anyway. But more so, Soap does not consider bankruptcy as an option because she was taught that bankruptcy is immoral.

“It’s…I don’t know…it feels, feels like stealing.”

She was taught to believe that you can’t let someone else handle the baggage. Isn’t that so mature of her?!

Which is even more confusing because if she understands THAT, why dig yourself even deeper then?

SHE’S CRAY!

This is a life staging form of modern art, right?

I mean…it’s NOT “easy” spending $800 on a pair of shoes when you’re north of six figures in debt without a job. That takes an incredible, extreme amount of irresponsibility to throw around that nonsense. This isn’t a money issue, this is a mental issue that…like if we were on Dr. Phil, he would be like:

A reader bought up the fact that she might have a mental illness and initially, I thought “nah” because Soaps is in all areas a very normal, very happy person

When the conversation is not about money, we joke and laugh about typical things. She’s happy with most of her life besides the ‘needing more money’ thing.

But now I’m not so sure. There might be something psychologically wrong with her. No clue what but I can think of 30 different mental barriers a person would need to break to be that stupid. Soap just FLYS through them all.

 Related Reads:

• 3 Signs When Being Frugal Doesn’t Work & What To Do About It
• Why Rich People Penny Pinch When They Don’t Have To?
• At What Age Does Being Broke Stop Being Cute?

Here are the major steps a person needs to overcome in order to be OK with spending $800 on footwear while $100k in debt:

*Give Into Hopelessness

THAT is what makes up a good percentage of debt holders’ mentalities when they’re struggling in $100,000 worth of any debt. Soap included.

It’s so hard with Soaps. I’m split between flaming anger, sadness/pity, and if there’s enough room…a whole lot of disappointment.

But don’t judge her based on that huge number. It’s pretty hard not want to call it quits; unless you’ve been there without a planned path, no one gets to say or pass judgment. $100k is a hugeeeeeeeeee number. If the situation looks hopeless and life is miserable for the near and distant future…what’s another $800 for shoes up against $100,000?

*Maxed Credit Cards? Blow Cash

Look no deeper. Tell the head doctors that they’ve met their match. Soapys money management is something ridiculous. I’m wondering what two wires are touching in her brain that shouldn’t be touching. But I’m the only one here doing interpersonal counseling. If she can get something she wants with the cash she has in hand, that’s the moment that matters and she will get it. Those shoes were good as bought the moment she got her bi-monthly payout from her last side hustle.

Related Reads:

• Would You Survive a Financial Recession If Economic Collapse Happened?
• I Took The 30 Day No Spend Challenge & This Is What I Learned

*Have No Priorities

There is two main reason why people continue to put charges to their credit cards: buy themselves food and electricity to make it through the month OR buy something happy to get themselves through the day. There’s a big difference in paying your grocery bill versus paying for a mall trip. Logically, money goes to groceries first, not Yeezys. Logically, making rent goes before an Icelandic vacation pipedream. (She’s been crazy about Iceland for some reason. Another escapism daydream in this ridiculous artist life.)

I feel like a lot of rich children don’t seem to have a strong sense of priorities. It’s always fun first because the repercussions were never there for them to be afraid of. Because I was poor, I only saw repercussions and no upside. Maybe that’s why Soap thinks I’m a wet blanket…

*Have No Money Sense

Life is like a game of Minesweeper, full of little landmines. You can get better by gauging the potential and likely mines. There’s no guarantee – most of these happen to people out of the blue and once you’re knocked down and it’s hard coming back up. That’s how the system is built, it can happen real fast. My own family was on the teetering edge of every single one of those landmines for…uh, my entire life? I understood that reality since I was 10 years old and I lived with it every day.

Money is either lost or gained. The effects compound regardless but there are only two ways money moves. It takes a strong person to dig OUT of negative six figures and they get bragging total rights. I don’t see it happening here…

 Related Reads:

• 4 Profound Things I Wish I Knew Before Growing Up
• Effective But Semi Illegal Ways To Pay Off Student Loans
• Top 5 Financial Mistakes I’ve Made In My Early 20s

*Eat Cheap to Survive Afterwards

Just a day before the whole “Yeezy” shoe confession, she told me she’s been living off cereal for 2 weeks after running out of money. It honestly pulled at my heartstrings initially when she told me…because I love food. Like…hello, have you met me? I almost PayPal her money for her to buy groceries. But now, after finding out about the Yeezy shoe thing, it would be kinder to just let her starve and learn a lesson.

*Wait for Parental Bail

Her family can be generous. 2 years ago, after her last financial bailout, her mom gave her $20,000 and told her to use the remainder to start an emergency fund and open a savings account. That was the last fresh start she got from her parents.

2 years later, she has doubled that debt with 2 more tax bills that go unpaid. What did she do with the $20,000 her mom gave her for an emergency fund and rainy days?

No one knows, not even her.

She spent it on a new Xbox, knock off hoverboard, random dumb things she can’t remember but she confessed to that it was junk. Not to mention the other things she continues to purchased since then that aren’t necessities.

It’s hard to see a cent from her unless she got a fantastic, six-figure size bailout from her mom but it seems like her mom has had enough of her antics too. There have been too many bailouts to list.

It’s always sad to see parents “give up” on their own kids and this is they’ve basically given up on her / not too sure what to do now. Soap asked me why her mom hasn’t cleared her debts yet when she is clearly struggling. Soap doesn’t understand this but I’m seeing her parents stuck in suspension because they ran out of ideas.

I’m more or less joining her family on that front. I’ve only known her for about 5 years. Her mom and dad raised her from baby to 18. If Mr. and Mrs. Sensibly Rich quit, what’s my advantage for nagging about financial responsibility?

 Relevant Reads:

• What Is The Real Cost of Raising a Child (Done Frugally and On The Cheap)
• Got Kids? Check Out These Free Rainy Day Resources for Kids
• 11 Punchable Financial Crimes According to Me
• When Having Too Much Money is Bad (The Cons of Being Rich)
• How To Make a Roll of Paper Towels Last Embarrassingly Long

Conclusion

The universe somehow placed us together and forged a friendship worth almost 5 years of time. It’s like we’re the stars of an alien reality TV show. I’ve reached a level of Zen with her. I honestly don’t care anymore. I care about her as a living person but I don’t care how she’s going to pull out of this or any hope she can with the actions she’s taken over and over. Now it’s less about how to change her behavior and more “I wonder what season 6 is going to be.”

I hope this was entertaining! She’s the best expert out there at bumming life. Don’t you just love her artistic approach to life? It’s a breath of fresh air in these personal finance neck of the woods, am I right?

How would you like to:

*Run a profitable, successful, totally set up business for free?

*Free college and job placement with all the right connections?

*Marry an heir, have some kids, and be set for life?

How about all 3? Just because you were born for being you.

Spoiled Adults

A spoiled adult is…an unpleasant sight. They can be difficult to deal with. My friend, Soaps, has a tendency to lie and does as she pleases especially when it comes to hiding things from her parents. Regardless of consequences, I remember facepalming myself on several occasions when she tells me her latest scheme to hide new debts from her mother.

Her parents aren’t monsters. Her parents are normal upper-class folks. Their goal now is to guide her to become an independent adult who will be in an OK position in life without their intervention. That’s not a huge goal or even an odd goal. Every single parent out there wants to have independent adult children.

But it’s hard. You can’t undo a childhood of enabling acts and having parents giving her everything.

“That’s Interesting!“

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Jealous of a Friend

I’m not going to lie, there are some moments I’m very jealous of Soapy for her life and her parents. My childhood sucked big time compared to hers.

Now I’m just being completely honest here. I believe you can be an objective friend and support them even if there’s jealousy creeping behind some of it.

It’s kind of cathartic to know it’s human nature.

(Unless I’m the only person that has ever felt this way then I may have just self-confessed as a b*tch ?)

I resent my friend Soaps sometimes because of all the global poverty in the world and very few blessings…she was born with such a blessing.

There’s nothing wrong being born privileged to me at all. UNLESS it goes to those who waste it.

To me, that would be the ultimate sin and that’s my philosophy.

And that’s why I continue struggling every day with feeling like a lucky raindrop even though everybody can just tell me to sit back and enjoy being married to my well off Mr. Hippo.

I don’t want to be born capable of contributing to mankind but choosing to not advance or connect with mankind in any shape or form. Even worst, causing more problems and leading a life of nothing.

Yeah yeah, I’m a conventional model citizen…it’s enough to make rebel boy poet Rimbaud roll over in his grave.

~

For those of you who are new here, here is a synopsis of my friend, Soap. She is one of the many colorful characters I’ve noted from my life.

I added this portion so no one is missing a piece of the puzzle:

Soap is one of my best friends. She is also the daughter of a very affluent, multi-millionaire family. She grew up in Salt Lake City, UT. Her childhood was what one would call pure opulence and she had many privileges most people can only dream of.

Her sister is married to the wayward son of a Chinese billionaire and Soap herself…well, she is in her 30s with a drinking problem. She has terrible health and cannot hold down a stable job. At age 30, she started with $80,000 in refinanced consumer and medical debt and some unpaid taxes as well.

Although her parents can easily wipe the debt away, they think it would be better for Soaps to learn how to manage her own finances by learning to live frugally and focusing on her career and education. Both of Soap’s parents fall under what you call, the sensible rich.

Soapy’s parents immigrated to the United States from China in the 1970s. They’re open minded and highly educated (in contrast to my own immigrant parents). They educated themselves, worked very hard, and became successful engineers and then entrepreneurs within two decades. Now they want to pass on their successful international trading business but to no heir.

Soap was the only heir of choice but she repeatedly declined to learn her family’s business. Now her parents have stopped asking. To Soaps, her parental life work has no appeal what-so-ever. It is not how she wants to live her life, even at the guranteed of wealth.

Read the previous posts in Soapy’s Odessey:

• 21 Frugal Pantry Staples List on a Limited Budget
• Practical Budgets For People Bad With Money
• How To Effectively Overcome Credit Card Addiction
• 3 Signs When Frugality Isn’t Worth It & What To Do
• Why You Still Need An Emergency Fund While In Debt
• How Soapy is Geoarbitraging in China
• What Am I Doing With My Life? I Need Help With My Life.
• How To Afford $800 Shoes When You’re $100k in Debt

~

Resentment for Her Wasting Life

Because it’s my personal belief that every human is born with a capacity to contribute, it sets off a lot of contradictory feelings when one of your greatest confidants in life is set on wasting hers. Some days I feel a slight shameful resentment towards Soap. She could have it “all” in my eyes.

I care a lot about her as a friend but that doesn’t mean I have to like her crappy life choices.

The thing that knocks me the most is…she had every opportunity in the book. Why can’t she have done something with that? It’s like getting a game and playing it on Tutorial mode…and then not listening to the tutorial.

(I am super chill with my over-reaching terminology of “contributing to mankind.” If you went out and did 3 minutes of work, then you made a difference somewhere. I am not strict with that at all.)

But Soap is largely what I define as wasteful. She doesn’t work-work currently, right now, she gets paid to drink with her rich friends. The last thing she told me via messenger was:

“I just spent 17…legit…17 hours playing Candy Crush yesterday. I had to lean in the corner next to the charger port to play. I was so sleepy I just crashed. What the f*ck be my life…”

When she told me that a few nights ago, I just hit my limit.

It is just the perfect summary of everything that has happened. It is integral to why she is where she is in life. And even with her support system (including one very annoying blogger yours truly) she still manages to dig deeper without wanting to flail for survival.

That was about all of the Soap updates I could take because I was about 99.9% full of the “What Are You Doing With Your Life?” resentment meter.

I think I was mad and exhausted so I just put the phone down and decided to not speak with her until the morning.

Soaps have had a lot of chances in life to start over. She gets these chances to this day:

*Full training to inherit their trading business.

*Her family is in full financial support if she returns to college and graduate.

*Be set up with someone from their high society’s circle, marry an heir, then be a mom.

How awesome is that? Any sane person reading this would holler, “Hey those are awesome deals! Wish that was me!”  And only a small portion of people who work hard every day gets to have privileges like these for their kids.

My parents worked manual jobs to make sure we make it through the month. At the end of that 17 years in the United States, they have nothing to show for it. I would have killed for 1/16 of the opportunities the universe presented to Soap from birth.

More and more, it seems I’m just coming from an area of jealousy. Every time I talk to her, I just want to scream:

“If I had your life and set up, I would have done this and this and this. I wouldn’t continue to squander it playing phone games, watching Netflix, and daydreaming about free vacations for years on end.”

I’m sure it’s not pleasant for her to hear that because I did tell her that several times before. It drives me nuts. There’s so much potential and no drive despite her given smartness and her privilege. To me, it’s an utter waste.

Conclusion

When she got a job or right before she left to geoarbitrage in China, I was very proud of her. I would feel no resentment on her life if she allowed herself to get ahead. Because she could if she wanted to. In fact, I’m third in line behind her parents and grandparents to help her.

She was there for me when I needed her as with all good friends. I believe she’s a fantastic friend and overall a good person. But is she conventionally an independent functioning citizen? Not really…

It’s not easy to help someone who is more or less content with the bare minimum. And I think I just have to accept that. My visions in life, her parents’ vision in life for Soaps = isn’t for Soaps.

It’s not her goal. It was never her goals. She doesn’t want to own a boring business and do business things. She doesn’t want to go back to school. And she doesn’t want some set up by her parents’ and married off.

Renegade life!

She doesn’t want any of those things on the list enough to give up her freedom in life. If her freedom includes being able to play 17 hours of Candy Crush, freelancing for just enough to feed herself and pay rent and maybe some economic stimulus from her family occasionally. So be it.

When she gets older, her parents will layout plans for her after they pass so she’s taken care of. Although spoiled, she is still their child and loved. I remember about 6 months ago she told me something in passing:

“I’m pretty comfortable with my life. I work when I want to and make my $2,000 a month. I have enough to feed myself and pay rent. My life isn’t great but it’s very comfortable for the work I put in. I have friends who can take me out to lunch and my life comes with a lot of freedom. Pssh, I don’t think about debts. I pay it like I pay the rent when it comes, it’s the same thing basically.”

That’s an interesting way to think about life compared to……….every single grain of personal finance.

And that’s all she wants from life for the amount of work, that’s her ideal. Some people are OK with less as long as they can have their fun. She doesn’t mind debt. It’s just like rent to her. I don’t agree with that (nor does her mother) but you can pull a horse to water, it doesn’t mean you can make the horse drink.

That’s just…how Soap is as a person. You can’t change a person so it’s better to move past those feelings of resentment and disappointment.

Whatever resentment and jealousy I feel against a friend or someone like Soaps…well, that’s my issue. Not hers.

What would you do if you had a child like Soaps? Would you throw your hands up at this point? What would you implement or nothing at all?

“I have no idea what to do with my life.” -Soaps

Bleh news Internet Friends. I wish I had a better Soapy update for you guys today.

For those of you who are new here, this is a brief synopsis of my friend, Soap. She is one of the many colorful characters I’ve noted from my life.

I added this portion so no one is missing a piece of the puzzle:

Soap is one of my best friends. She is also the daughter of a very affluent, multi-millionaire family. She grew up in Salt Lake City, UT. Her childhood was what one would call pure opulence and she had many privileges most people can only dream of.

Her sister is married to the wayward son of a Chinese billionaire and Soap herself…well, she is in her 30s with a drinking problem. She has terrible health and cannot hold down a stable job. At age 30, she started with $80,000 in refinanced consumer and medical debt and some unpaid taxes as well.

Although her parents can easily wipe the debt away, they think it would be better for Soaps to learn how to manage her own finances by learning to live frugally and focusing on her career and education. Both of Soap’s parents fall under what you call, the sensible rich.

Soapy’s parents immigrated to the United States from China in the 1970s. They’re open minded and highly educated (in contrast to my own immigrant parents). They educated themselves, worked very hard, and became successful engineers and then entrepreneurs within two decades. Now they want to pass on their successful international trading business but to no heir.

Soap was the only heir of choice but she repeatedly declined to learn her family’s business. Now her parents have stopped asking. To Soaps, her parental life work has no appeal what-so-ever. It is not how she wants to live her life, even at the guranteed of wealth.

Read the previous posts in Soapy’s Odessey:

• 21 Frugal Pantry Staples List on a Limited Budget
• Practical Budgets For People Bad With Money
• How To Effectively Overcome Credit Card Addiction
• 3 Signs When Frugality Isn’t Worth It & What To Do
• Why You Still Need An Emergency Fund While In Debt
• How Soapy is Geoarbitraging in China

And here is the update since we last left off:

Since her main source of income can be done via Wi-Fi anywhere in the world, Soapy went to China to curb her living cost and get herself out of debt faster using a millennial secret weapon called “geoarbitrage.”

Unfortunately, she became annoyed with the lack of sanitation and bleak progress, she skipped town and work for fun with a friend. This is when I lost communication with her for several weeks. I would have been more concerned except Soaps does that a lot. She eloped across the world with some guy once.

All that is guaranteed is she will come out of it in even bigger trouble. Then one day she sent me a text, and I quote:

“I’m disabled.” (Seriously what the f*** kind of an update is that?)

I think she was exaggerating but man, can she employ an effective cliffhanger.

Then another message a few days later that things became so bad and she’s so broke that her parents had to come bail her out (yet again) and she is now in their custody.

“Life with my parents is so posh, too bad they want me to go back to school.”

They booked a ticket for her back to Canada and now she’s back to the same old, same old.

Her mom gave her a choice, to continue on the treadmill of poverty or return to the United States for a comped education and all the spoils that come along with living with rich parents. It may sound like an easy decision to most people but you have to consider “an education and W2” may not be the goal of someone who dreams of freedom and instant riches. More schooling is not for everyone (myself included) so Soap is dragging her feet.

(P.S. She attended several prestigious schools at one point or another throughout all the years at her parent’s insistence but in the end some crazy accident always happens leading her to withdraw from uni.)

Some people think I’m making her up. She is really a brilliant creature, a central Beat lore character. But a lot of her core problems are related to normal, boring people like you and me.

“What Am I Doing With My Life? I Need Help With My Life.”

Yeah…that’s a good question.

Instead of arbitraging as planned, she has even less money and her $80k debt has grown to over $100k thanks to new taxes due. Back to being stuck in between a rock and a hard place…Soaps ask me:

“What should I do with my life? I’m wasting my life here.”

Boy, is that a good, 2-ton loaded question. Her mom wants her to get her life straight and figure out what she wants to do with herself. Mom is currently paying all her bills but that won’t last forever. She wiped off Soaps tax bill last year but that’s more an “I don’t want my daughter going to jail” thing.

Related Reads:

• Debt and Suicide – Why I’m Proud To Be A Grown-Up Tattletale
• The 11 Perks of Growing Up Poor

Update over, let’s get to the meat:

1) It’s Not Just You!

Everyone goes through this phrase. This is a GOOD question to ponder! Did you know that 70% of Americans hate their jobs?

At least this intent shows an awareness that what you are doing is not where you want to be. That’s good!

In the same sense, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pondering what you should be doing with your life. The majority of people have been here, asked the same question, and fought the same demons.

Self-identity is immeasurably important; congrats on joining the club.

2) The Arrival Time Is Different For Everybody

Have you ever noticed some buses are always late and some stick closer to being on-time?

I struggled from age 18 to 25 trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. At 26, I had an inkling and at 27…I would like to think I might have the answer. Which is totally YAY inducing but man, age 18 to 25 was a big chunk of my youth just to “build” up to this point.

There’s also no “correct” timeline for self-discovery. I guess like height charts, there is a suggested chart that correlates to age. Ideally, people want to get the self-discovery thing out-of-the-way by the time they go off to college and decide on a major.

After that comes the 20s, this is the accepted prime time for soul-searching. It gets less and less cute from there to be “soul searching” as you move into the 40s and beyond.

Unfortunately, that is rarely the case, especially if you’re a free bird like me and Soaps. It took people post-FIRE to find out what they want to do with their life.

That’s my husband’s plan. He is running up the career ladder but only for that freedom date so he can spend a lot of time figuring out all the fun. (This is why it’s super important to SAVE your money kids.)

3) Lay Out & Funnel Your Options

I would say do it on a piece of paper. Do it map style. I love writing things down. My entire computer desk is full of scrap paper. It’s full of lists, visual idea maps, interconnected thoughts, and scenarios.

When I’m faced with a multi-layered problem like “what to do with my life” I scribble and flush those things down and tape them to the wall. Then I make another one and edit them as fit.

Don’t do it in pencil. I write mine in pen (multi-colored) so I can see my thought process. If I had an eraser, I would erase one of every 2 words and nothing would get done.

It’s easier than trying to trap and think this through in your brain, which right now, is a cold dark pool of water and a lot of good things could drown in it.

 Related Reads:

• 9 Money Mistakes To Avoid For Debt-Free Living
• Don’t (Nicolas) Cage Yourself In Financially
• 4 Practical Budgets For People Bad With Money

4) Be Realistic

Play to your strengths. The tide is going somewhere and it would be wise to not fight it but work with it instead.

Everyone pondering the “what should I do with my life” conundrum has either absolutely no idea or more commonly, at least 2+ options that they’re struggling between. It could be should I go back to school vs stay and work OR move away from home vs stay in the town I grew up in.

I tell Soap she is not going to become the Chinese Paris Hilton or an Instagram celebrity even though that’s what she dreams about doing. It has to be at least somewhat realistic and being an “Instagram” celebrity is not for a broke 30-something-year-old woman currently under $100k of debt.

I’ve always wanted to be a professional dancer but that’s not on my “what am I doing with my life?” hit list. It’s not realistic.

5) It Hits When You Least Expect It

Like…has anyone ever told you life is a total troll?

I’m usually against the impromptu “cashing out my cash savings and drive down to Mexico to figure out my life” thing because that’s just reckless mixed with anxiety mixed with escapism.

A lot of times, the answer to what you want to do with your life comes when you’re NOT digging out your brain to find out that answer.

It’s important to enjoy the ride and make sure the pillars of your life is taken care of. (Just as long as you’re not in Soaps position, that’s a bad ride to get stuck with.)

6) Cover Your Basis

This advice might be a bit delayed for Soaps but the best offense here is a defense. You don’t know what to do and you have no idea when you will know what you will know.

Does that sound like an upper hand to be offensive and aggressive with risks?

Of course not.

“Save money and money will save you.”

In blinded situations like this, the best thing you can do is play it smart and cover all the basics. Offer yourself as many avenues of freedom as you can. You know what money buys? Freedom! That means living a debt free life, saving an offensive amount of money, maintaining your health and making sure your support system is strong.

 Related Reads:

• 4 Profound Things I Wish I Knew Before Growing Up
• Effective But Semi Illegal Ways To Pay Off Student Loans
• Top 5 Financial Mistakes I’ve Made In My Early 20s

7) Gather Insight From Others

Speaking of support systems, the old mantra of surrounding yourself with successful people may sound like something a Mean Girl would say but there is a lot of truth to it. Gather insight from the social circle you admire, most people are too polite to not care, plus they will be flattered you chose to go to them for the advice!

The fresher the eyes, the least explored the perspective.

Come to think of it…the biggest realizations for me this year came from my husband (2), Soap (1), and Amy (1). The light bulb went off like a blast of light and all I needed was perspective!

8) Don’t Fear Work

Anything that’s decently good looks like a mountain of work before you start. I have at least 3 life “works” and not a single day goes by that I don’t want to tear my hair out. There are giga-million little things to do on that list. But as I step back and remind myself that I’m young enough that there will be time for me to chew off the workload, I feel a little better.

I use age as a comforting excuse to keep going and keep working. It works well enough, being 26 does leave a lot of room for betterment. If you’re fearing the workload, it’s probably wise to give yourself an excuse and keep the faith alive

The most disappointing thing is when a person won’t choose a certain route because the road looks too long. (That’s probably why I want to throw a brick at anyone who bad mouths saving money and compounding returns.) But I would hate to be anyone nearing the end of the road realizing they don’t have any life left to even work anymore.

9) You’re Going to Fail (Just Like Before)

That’s going to be a hard win. I’m assuming the “I need help with my life” statement probably stem from high feelings of failure from anyone who has uttered those words. It’s not going to be last time failure is going to strike. There is nothing more effective than hitting rock bottom to get someone fired up.

10) Start With a Hobby

When I was little, I remember all the grown-ups kept saying “everybody is good at something.” I never heard of that saying when I was growing up in China. I kept hearing it in the United States, it’s an American thing?

I was a pre-teen but I remember going, “pfffffft, what a load of millennial participation trophy crap.”

LOL. OK, not in those exact words but my little brain was skeptical of that statement back then.

Well, the older I get, the more I think they could be onto something. This world is sooooooo big. There are sooooooooooo many things to do. If you don’t have anything you’re good at, chances are you haven’t had the run-in or opportunity to try enough things yet. There’s a lot of obsessions people choose to focus on with their time. If you could find a way to monetize a side hustle or hobby, then you’re on the way to easy street. You can start a hobby at any age and scale up from there. (I had to tell Soap that drinking was not a hobby.) 

Recommended Reads:

• Top 14 Reasons Why Some People Don’t Save Money
• 13 Sensible Defining Characteristics Of Upper Middle Class People

11) Life Doesn’t Have to Have Meaning

Oook. This might be an unpopular opinion but not all lives can have meaning. Imagine the convicted criminal who just got out of jail after 40 years of confinement. He’s just trying to live and adjust in the real world now. Did his life have meaning? Not really.

So if you are having nightmares rushing to find something to do to give your life meaning, maybe bring it down a notch and open your eyes to your surroundings. In a way, we’re all just raindrops.

(Suuuuper important: don’t ever allow anyone to assign meaning or value to your life without your permission first.)

12) Find Your End Goal

….and go back from there. If you don’t know what you’re doing and need help with your life, envision your ideal life first. This is a common exercise that flushes out a person’s inner desire and forces them to create a map to it going backward. I use the “OK, I’m 105 years old and on my death bed. Am I satisfied with everything I’ve done?” What could I do to improve given that I’m happy as long as I’ve attempted to better my destiny?

13) Learning is Not Optional

In no way do I recommend anyone who cannot find their meaning and mission in life to just throw their paws up and go “I quit!” There are some days where I have a lot of problem with my parents and it usually stems from the fact that they’re  “closed bulbs.” They say, “I’m too old to learn this” and “There’s no point in learning that.”

It cuts against my grain because although I’m their by-product, a good life for me revolves around the pleasure of learning every avenue to whatever sparks my fancy at the time.

Readers, if someone was struggling with the same question, what would you tell them?

Imagine traveling around the worlds, for free, eating the best food out there for a living…that is what being a successful vlogger is all about right?! Mikey Chen, Mark Wiens, Andrew Zimmerman and countless others – ’em lucky ducks. Even if Zimmerman has to eat some bizarre stuff, I don’t think it’s far-reaching that Zimmerman goes to famously good restaurants between filming in the respective foreign land to pig out on the goods.

I’m not much for travel for the sake of travel but I would definitely endure an 18-hour flight and be moonlighting on the floor of the airport for 1 hour of unlimited Taiwanese seafood buffet. That is no exaggeration, my friends. Hell, I’ll take 30 minutes of a buffet with a flu!

You think I’m kidding?

When I was little, my mom bribed me with McDonald’s to prevent me from running away from school.

I was always sneaking away, breaking out, and doing my own thing. Once I was caught sneaking out and climbing down a cliff at midnight. NINJA FIRST GRADER! But suddenly…a school guard grabbed my 7-year-old arms and foiled my escape. I spent the night sleeping and crying in the guard’s office because he couldn’t take me anywhere that guaranteed I wouldn’t escape. My dad threatened to chop off my legs once!

Anyway, McDonald’s in China was a luxury back then especially for village people like us. Mom would get me a McDouble with fries and sit there to watch me stuff my face. I was the easiest child to kidnap because you could have bribed me with a fry.

Some fellow gal pals (Frugal Asian, Birds of a Fire, Financial Orchid) of mine have bought up doing the food vlogger “Mikey Chen” career thingy after they reach financial independence. See, it is an Asian thing, haha.

Dream job: Turn on a camcorder and narrate while stuffing your face.

I thought for the longest time that the perks must surpass all the jet-lag and inevitability of losing pieces of your luggage. Soapy went to China to try her hand at being a Mikey Chen so I got to see a closer replication and first-hand commentary behind food vlogging. There are a lot more layers to it than just jet-lag.

 Related Reads:

• How Much Money Does Our Frugality Save? (Spoiler: $56,000+/Year)
• Eat Ugly, Save Money? Imperfect Produce Review (+ FREE COUPON)
• Everything ‘Married…With Children’ Did That Kept Them Poor

Food and Travel Vlogger Basics

Persistence

Blogger, vlogger, whatever brand of poison you want to call yourself – at the end of the day, all internet entertainer are fighting for a share of the attention. Every YouTuber is not only competing with each other but they are also fighting over viral cat compilation videos and my personal favorite: Psyduck going bat crazy on loop for 10 hours. Persistence is a prerequisite and an uncommon one at that.

Practice

I ghosted my a few of my early posts because they’re so uninspired and bad. My first post was something like 300 words. The first time I wrote a long listicle, I thought I was Shakespeare born again. Now I know that most of everything I wrote before my 6th month was pretty poopy.

I made my first YouTube video when I was 19 and I promptly deleted it. I’m glad I did, I would have been mauled online for my makeup application “skills.” The 19-year-old me had makeup looks like a cross between a dumpster geisha and a depressed skunk (the GIRLS know exactly I’m talking about.)

But I’m sure if I persisted and practiced, it would have improved by now but no one said practice and persistence were common human qualities – I certainly didn’t have enough passion for makeup to push through.

Passion

If you want to make a career of it, passion is non-negotiable. Soaps did not expect the workload of making a food and travel video (people never correctly estimate the work involved in things).

 Related Reads:

• 9 Money Mistakes To Avoid For Debt-Free Living
• Don’t (Nicolas) Cage Yourself In Financially
• 4 Practical Budgets For People Bad With Money

Equipment

Equipment is the easiest part compare to the 3 Ps I spat out above. Things that money can buy are the most simplistic things in life if you can save for it. It’s just things.

Even though cinematic equipment can be costly, some of the equipment can be flipped for some cash back if things don’t work out. I always encourage beginners to start cheap, buy used, substitute early and upgrade when it becomes necessary.

Camera

With how advanced modern smartphones have gotten, an iPhone camera, camcorder, beginner’s DSLR or GoPro is all you need to get started.

Lighting

For a girl like me that boasts frugality, I (embarrassingly) had 3 sets of professional lighting equipment I purchase off Amazon in the back of the closet. The quality from Amazon is just OK but the price (and shipping) is right.

Backdrop Screen

Aliexpress is the cheapest place for backdrops screens. The only major downside is having to wait 1 month before it comes through from China. If you don’t need a professional backdrop, head over to Joanne’s or Michael’s (any craft store) and pick up some material for a DIY backdrop.

Microphone

Subpar audio quality is forgivable but bad audio will ruin an entire video no matter how good the visuals are. Being a food or travel vlogger, there could be some crazy background noise so the best way is to fetch a wireless lavalier microphone or shotgun microphone. Both mics will not be visible on camera but can capture your voice clearly.

Editing Software

Editing is the most tedious thing for vloggers. The GoPro camera is almost always running as to not miss anything cool. Professional editing is a lot harder than it looks because of the snippet and precision required. I can report on this from first hand experience. In high school, I spent 2 years in a multi-media program where part of my job was to film and edit for our high school TV show. I was pretty horrible at it and never felt a tinge of interest in editing. Have you read my posts? Anyone actually thinks these are edited?

Looks & Vocals

A lot of people are self-conscious about the way they sound on camera. I certainly was one of them (until I started being invited to do podcasts.) I was born and raised in China but I don’t carry a Chinese accent that’s detectable. It could be because I immigrated to the U.S. at age 9ish and I was malleable enough to pick the language up fairly quickly.

In terms of looks, don’t use it as a crutch…but also don’t be monstrously ugly. There is nothing wrong with being vain. We’re all vain. If I had a choice of watching someone review a sock, I would prefer it to be a pretty girl rather than an ogre. UNLESS the ogre had a better…

Personality!

Editing work is trickier than it looks but thankfully it’s something that is exportable, unlike personality. You need one to be an entertainer. To make things even harder, it has to be authentic, exciting, and non-controversial at the same time. No one likes copies of the same thing. The world is a pretty big place, I reckon me being me…I will eventually find my audience. But that doesn’t matter anyway because I can only be me. You can’t be someone else because that’s taken!

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It’s Not As Easy As It Seems To Get There!

Not a bad list of prerequisites huh? I think all of those above are fairly easy to fill and take care of if you have all the right qualities.

But I’m not done yet. We haven’t even begun discussing the real downsides of a YouTube vlogging career. These are the things that no one actually considers in the first round of excitement. I’m sure Soapy didn’t until GoPro-ed around the city and it just clicked that there’s so much more to the game than just persistence, equipment, looks, and personality.

There are a lot more things out of your control…

1) Personal Finances

You need money to get started and the amount depends on your niche. There is a lot of financial uncertainty with a YouTube career. YouTube is the boss, the government, the house and they are not exactly the most transparent of systems. It’s not like they have a live hotline number to content creators. The YouTube “middle class” of around 50,000 to 500,000 subscribers cannot make a sustainable living. The platform might change (and I bet it will) but for now, it’s not a sustainable source for the vast majority of aspiring YouTubers in the “middle class.”

It is a nice feature that our own financial independence community will have less to worry in terms of financial security but we’re a tiny, niche group. The subject of money will come up with most YouTuber vloggers no matter how much they love their work.

2) Legal & Copyrights

I was a big Eminem fan (still am). The dude basically taught me English.

Anyway, I had a YouTube channel dedicated to him a little before Google acquired YouTube in 2006. I only uploaded 4 fan videos before my computer broke and my family canceled internet because we couldn’t afford it anymore. I totally forgot about that channel until I logged back in 2 years later. I come to find I had over 3 million video views!

All because I found one long lost video of Eminem rapping in the UK with his deceased rapper friend Proof and that video blew up along with the channel.

Me! Over 120,000 subscribers!

I didn’t know what to do with the YouTube fame at the time so I was like…”OK.” Less than a year later YouTube took me down for copyright/right of use or something silly and I was like…”OK.” Now I know how big of a deal that was but not at the time. I mean….120,000 subscribers in the early days of YouTube.

The main point is more complicated than this but essentially: if YouTube wanted to pull the plug on something, it’s their full right. If enough people out there report you, it doesn’t matter if you get a due trial. YouTube will pull the video. They’re your boss, remember?

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3) Devotion and Sacrifice

For travel, adventure, foodie niches that require physical relocation and a larger initial investment (flight tickets, food costs etc.) over a long period of time, that is a time-consuming and financially risky move.

Building a base of vlogging supporters is not easy. It’s very, very possible to spend years of little thank, money, and huge time devotion to something that might be only probable down the road. There are some great vloggers I follow and they haven’t blown up yet. I use to follow Mark Wiens when he started Migrationology. He had no more than 20,000 subscribers at the time on YouTube and he got a lot of public hate in the comments from everything to his face to his voice to his shirt color.

I don’t think most people would have been able to do this for so long without total devotion to the cause. In the end, the competition is fierce so for someone who wants to do it alone, it’s important to be able to dedicate enough time, resources, and patience.

That’s a super lonely road if you ask me! He has 1 million subscribers now…so happy ending! But man…that’s a long 7+ years of building to get to this point without a stable paycheck.

4) Gets Lonely

There are two prongs to this, as a vlogger, you work alone and not usually in a traditional office setting. This means you miss out on socialization and have to brave the single road alone. If you are traveling, there are language barriers and safety concerns. You can imagine all the traveling and hotel hopping is not optimized for a traditional family with school-age children. Mark Wiens is one of the few YouTuber that is married with a toddler. It’s definitely possible, but he also has the support of his wife and in-laws who live in Thailand where he films.

He doesn’t do that much traveling compared to Mikey Chen who is a solo man with a work crew. When you become a YouTube vlogger professionally, other parts of your life must flex with it. If you can’t find that certain someone who can be a partner in crime, it will get lonely even in a sea of subscribers (if you’re so lucky.)

5) Need Constant Extroversion

Introversion and extroversion is a spectrum. If you wanted to go black and white then, interesting tidbit, about 2/3 of the US population classify themselves as extroverts and the remaining 1/3 of Americans classify themselves as introverts. My husband and I are introverts if you pin us on to that spectrum. We’re also sun-hating vampires; that’s why we live in Seattle.

To be a YouTube vlogger, you have to enjoy the attention and sociability. Travel vloggers need to…….go outside. The food doesn’t just come to you in the hotel. If you get lost, and every single travel vlogger has gotten lost at some point in their traveling career, you will need to summon the courage to ask a stranger for directions. There is no guarantee that whoever you ask is friendly or can speak English.

Let’s say, I’m having an Omakase in Tokyo and I’m sitting at the bar. Instead of focusing on the beautiful flow of a meal that the Chef is serving me, I have to worry about how I’m appearing, the noise level, the backdrop, my audio quality, if I’m introducing the names correctly as I NARRATE the entire meal…in front of the dude! Awkward!!! You HAVE to be socially comfortable in the first place. That is the stuff of nightmares for someone like my husband. I am a little more social than he is but I’m no Zsa Zsa Gabor.

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6) Support System

This is another problem that being an introvert might bring up. You can avoid getting lonely if you have a spouse or traveling partner who wants the same jet-pack, food-fueled lifestyle but what if you didn’t have that support system?

Super duper unfortunately, my husband doesn’t share my passion for food. I get heart palpitations when I watch Mikey Chen (and then my husband gets a bit jealous haha). He grew up with overcooked pork and fish sticks on Friday. He doesn’t distinguish between good vs bad food. It’s all just food that goes in the mouth. I know it sounds silly but this has actually caused more fights in between us than the topic of money. The money we have and sit on the same page about.

My husband is not interested in food or vlogging so it’s hard to go at it alone. He doesn’t care what he’s eating and he definitely doesn’t want any video cameras hanging around while he’s eating. It’s harder to drag your partner with you every step of the way and I rather not make him uncomfortable.

7) Haters Gonna Hate

I almost forgot about this! To most people, being a successful food travel blogger is probably one of the most envious gigs out there. How many times did Adam Richman (from Man v. Food) utter how much he loves his gig? (Before he starts eating those challenges.) It doesn’t matter if you’re the most charismatic, magical unicorn hero in our galaxy, no one escapes the power of anonymity given to others. Actually, if you were a magical unicorn hero then it’s an open invitation to a cult of people who hate you for being a magical unicorn hero. It’s the prickly thrones on a rose, you can’t have it without the other. The internet is not a forgiving place, which leads me to…

8) Closet Skeletons

If you don’t have any hidden skeletons in your closet…then you’ve lived a tame life. I want to see some action! ?

I’m a super open-minded person. I take most things with a humorous spirit but even I know the internet is not a forgetful place. The internet doesn’t forget anything. There’s no such thing as “delete” once it’s been posted on the world wide web. That’s going to be a hard lesson for the little teenagers these days with the instant upload to YouTube feature on their smartphones.

Everyone will have a few skeletons in there and chances are it will be set on auto-played the moment people find out you’re famous. The only cure is…you have to become OK with it. My past blaze of resourcefulness could come and bite me in the butt someday but I don’t respond to that for long because I’ve always known my motivation are certain and pure. Others might not be as fortunate as I am. Case and point: remember Alexandra Wallace? The UCLA girl who posted a tirade about Asian Americans in the library on YouTube? She would have a lot of issues becoming…something…like a CNN correspondent after that.

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Have I Not Discouraged You Yet?

9) You Can’t “Escape” Work

I haven’t thought about this until Soaps was filming her adventures in China. Everything you do becomes work! Some places are strict about camera access. To plan properly you have to call in ahead of time and request permission to film everywhere you go. You have to track down the right person who has the power to make that decision as well to make sure all filming goes as plan. Sometimes businesses will say no or heavily restrict access to avoid tipping off local competition which puts a damper on the content. It makes the entire experience that would have otherwise been enjoyable into work.

On the trip, you have to adhere to the plan and schedules which means sleeping and waking up on time. Does that sound like a reward for someone who worked so hard to become financially independent?! This is where I would call my vlogging daydream quits, happily. I always pictured traveling the world for food as a leisurely activity, not a full-time work obligation.

10) The STARES!

Ugh, this goes back to extroversion! As an introvert, getting weird stares from people is going to be embarrassing and mentally draining. Loads of strangers and foreigners will find it humorous you’re sitting around eating and talking to your camera like it’s prime time.

11) The Limitation of Enjoyment

This one rips me up the most. 

If you’re filming in a foreign land, you paid the price to be there via airfare, hotel, transportation. Time is now money. You would need as much footage for cutaways and pan shots as possible to keep the viewers interested because good introductions and openings retain and set the scene.

If it’s fun, film it; if it’s interesting, film it. And if it’s a perfect once in a lifetime sunset…get the camera and lighting ready, you don’t have time to enjoy the actual sunset.

Fix up the lighting! Is there a lot of wind noise? Give me the mic that covers the loud background noise!

Tick tock, tick tock.

If you’re in a buffet (usually the limit is 2 hours), those are some precious seconds being WASTED! You have to tour the joint, give a compelling summary, narrate while eating and make sure you get to everything in time while still trying to enjoy the food on camera. The attention is removed from pure piggy joy because you’re on a mission to provide entertainment. You are the entertainer!

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Conclusion

For a lot of young aspiring vloggers, although it’s admirable to want to be independent and find your own path – you have to make sure financially you’re set up for it and have real the persistence. It could be possibly 10 years off before people catch on to your content and become established.

Pro vloggers have to frame their lives around their job and respond to the new trends, content, and requests of subscribers. They have to give up normal lives, jobs, social lives and work is never-ending. Like blogging, you are essentially the flagship CEO and that is not an easy job. Except typically….a CEO gets paid…and is their own boss. Vloggers have to answer to YouTube at the end of the day. At least bloggers don’t have to answer to any platform. What’s WordPress going to do?

For financially free piggies, is it worth the trouble and workload? Do you have spousal support and a flexible family situation? I can’t get over the last 3 specifically: the immersion of workload, public attention, and limitation of enjoyment by proxy to work. Those are the nails in the coffins for me because I have a personal relationship with eating that wouldn’t bring me much joy if I had to commercialize it completely. If I have to be concerned with lighting, narration, audio, appearance, backdrop…I mean, what a fun suck.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t take some cool photos or even a little POV video but a full-time diary of our foodventures? Hmm…sounds like a tough one. There are some things money can’t buy past a certain point. You have to quit money eventually and by the time we’re comfortable enough to travel for food, money shouldn’t be a strong motivator anyway. I rather have my enjoyment in person rather than doing it through a camera lens because time and enjoyment are finite whereas there’s always more money to print.

~

So there you have it, the manifesto of a YouTube pro vlogger that shall never be! Have you thought of being a vlogger? During your daydreams, have you thought of these issues that come with YouTuber title?