Comments on: The Costs of Sperm Banking (And How We Saved Money On It)

By: planedoc

planedoc — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 22:47:19 +0000

Lily, I obviously don’t know you….but I really enjoy reading your blog. As a retired OBG…I would say you are genetically in the 90th%ile based on your writing…you’ve got the important bases covered:
-financially aware-check
-smart-check
-hard working-check
-artistic talent-check
-Hippo loves you-check

Consider….as much as you like Hippo, and want to see his genetic progeny…he may want to see yours!

The genetic lottery is both predictable and unpredictable….you chose Hippo…he chose you….I suspect the outcome would be good…

By: Lily

Lily — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 01:19:23 +0000

In reply to Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life.

Crap I thought I dreamt this comment. Brilliant. There is the regression to the mean – that children do not inherit the talents of their parents (seen in so many musicians.)

I think you’re awesome too Rev!

I really did not like him growing up but he was in a bad mental state (shitty life in general) – after he retired he mellowed out. We’re not friends but I can stand him more now. I accepted he wasn’t the dream father for any child, what’s there to say, he was so disadvantaged in every way. All I know is I got my Hippo who is going to be the PERFECT father. All good. Wounds healed!!

By: Sylvie n the Dogs

Sylvie n the Dogs — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 18:04:03 +0000

I feeeel so old saying this. So Old.
Your eggs will never be as good as they are right now. Literally, they are decaying as I type. They will presumably be fine and reproductive 5-7 years from now, but they will be 5-7 years older. Shit happens. As far as adopting eggs, if you have to, you have to. But having the 50% genetic disconnect later (hubs batter+ total stranger) by choice, is based on your experience, not genetic reality. And…down the road lacking participation in that, if you can participate, will be troubling. You are amazing, and you have a 20-something perspective on your genetics & kids. You won’t feel that way in 10 years.
And the pressure for success you place on yourself, isn’t reality when choosing the Egg for your omelet. You get base info at best. Nobody tells the truth about that weird uncles proclivities, nor a bad patch in college. You don’t know what you are getting (creating an embryo & ai/or surrogacy is wildly expensive, not at all comfortable, and each round costs more, indefinitely, until it takes or you quit.)
Banking your eggs is highly adviseable if you aren’t planning on children for awhile.)
It’s a hard reality, and one that is pondered as endless and not wildly urgent in your mid to late 20’s, but a really big deal, in your mid 30’s.
Reality, premature ovarian depletion happens a lot. Infertility, is shocking and common.
If it helps, remember your husband married you for a good reason, and trust his judgement. If his batter is good enough for your progeny, yours is too. (Disclaimer: Our Seattle HQ employer likewise deeply subsidized our adventure in fertility & babies. I did it after ardently spending my life in the persuit of NOT procreating. It was hard. Emotional. And I wish I had that 411 ten years prior to that odyssey.)
Really try and detach your emotional self from your genetics, and evaluate. Full on fertility treatment is around $250k in the reality, but the emotional toll isn’t quantifiable. Best wishes in your decisions and choices.

By: Lily

Lily — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 20:19:44 +0000

In reply to Mrs. Defined Sight. Your sister sounds like a brave woman volunteering! I wish I had a free egg layer (oh god hahahah).

By: Lily

Lily — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 20:18:19 +0000

In reply to Mrs. Defined Sight. LOL DEEP CREEPING HAHAHAHAH. Omg, I'm gonna just...frame this comment.

By: Mrs. Defined Sight

Mrs. Defined Sight — Sat, 31 Mar 2018 02:09:58 +0000

I went to go read your most current post, and then found myself clicking all over your blog! (Thank you for linking your content…it makes deep creeping so much easier).

In all seriousness though, I really wish these options were discussed when I was in my 20s. We had plans. But I’d advise be able to be malleable. We either wanted to be DINKs, or have more than 1 kid. Here I am, mid 30s, Mr. DS is later 30s, and we have ONE kid. And we are struggling having kiddo #2. My first I had at 28. Poof! Easy Peasy! Stork just flew that one right in!

My sis had 4 kids before 30. My grandma had 6 before 30. After going through what I have/am going through – I encourage people to reproduce as early as they can! If there’s a way to freeze time, I’m pro it! Pretty sure my sister would also happily be your egg donor…she’s already volunteered for me (I’m not taking her up on it!)…1). That’d be tooo weird. 2). She would hold that over my head FOREVER. 3). Hubby says, “Ummm No…” <– edited version.

Thanks for sharing this – I would have my hubby's baby gravy frozen and tied with someone else if I could get him to buy into it too!

By: Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life

Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 18:32:32 +0000

In reply to Lily.

I see. Here’s an interesting thought – how hard is it for kids to live up to remarkable parents? And is it fair to require them to do so? It seems to be the accepted corollary to having to do something remarkable to be worth becoming a parent. I wouldn’t say that either of my parents have done anything spectacular, in the grand scheme of things but I’m a pretty awesome person ;), and in the universe, I’m nothing spectacular either but JB is pretty delightful. And terrible. And great. And terrible. 🙂

Any and all reasons not to do it is valid, in my book, but I like mulling over why we think what we think.

Actually, I don’t think I knew you weren’t a fan of your dad’s. Perhaps I was misled by his living with you? Likewise, I’m definitely not a fan of mine either.

By: Lily

Lily — Sun, 18 Mar 2018 03:47:51 +0000

In reply to Caroline.

“Can” might be a problem because both my parents had fertility issues. I might have gotten it – which is fine with me either way!!